Date

thoughts, well accounts really:

Better, but

Never made it to Vagevuur last week; too exhausing weekend with dwh organising the eurogay beachvolleytournament and doing light and sound for the beachwearfashionshow at DWH.

Canalpride in A'dam was a touch better than last year. Drinks on the street were allowed till one instead of 11. But the no-nudity-regulation on the boats was still very stricktly in place.

Why is that, can anybody tell me? Amsterdam gay capital; city of tolerance, my ass! In Berlin, Köln even in München you can walk around bare-assed or dance on the floats and nobody really cares! Meanwhile the numbers of visitors in A'dam are dwindling, despite the ultimate asset, the canals!

We may find it a landmark that we had an arabian/islam boat, but there keeps being this selfdiscriminating side to the whole thing.

Well I made my protest, wearing as little as possible: Chaps with a metal-mesh-jockstrap; 99% see through! And As you can see, It was noticed: hands on my crotch from all sides (not my own).

That while merrilly filming the action on the boats

Every now and then I had to tilt all the way down to check what was happening at my own crotch.

Well the fun did not stop there. The looks on the terrace in front of the cuckoos nest were encouraging too. One guy asked if he could make fotographs, but he did not dare to do it outside so we went into the john for that. If he sends them I'll show 'm here, although I had no intention of filling this page with photo's as well, but what the fuck, do you mind?

thought so! Another one?

Streetparty in Warmoesstraat was ok. Met lots of old friends, but had all the funshit again as usual in the upstairs daro of Dirty Dicks. That may bore you, it must be the third time this year I mention this. Maybe just leave it here or. . .
just one more?

Fr 27-7-2001

Summer

Last nite I went to the Web, to meet a British guys. who's having a rauch party in august. If he's nice I'd go there 4 sure, only, did not find him. After an hour or so I went on a tour: Cuckoos first, nice and very crowded as always. Then to Argos, also nice and same as always. Finally the Dirty Dicks, where they had a golden showerparty, you had to pay f 7,50 entrance fee. Seems like a good idea. As I was on the bike I could not drink any beer, so I did Cola Light and it indeed produces supersweet urine instantly, I was told by a consumer. Really nice; bathtubs have now found a permanent place in the groundfloor darkroom. Had great fun with almost everybody, as most were really motivated and were there specifically for the golden shower, or more . . . This weekend scat Vagevuur.

Su 22-7-2001

Summer

Got the result of my HIV test last week: still neg, and that gave room for some extra adventure. (that's not the idea, and the team a GGD warn me against deriving a sense of security from the trialvaccin: it might not work or be a placebo, but knowing I'm no gift-giver somehow makes me think it is less unacceptable to have a tinyweeny fucky. Minits after the GGD checkup I was in the Cuckoos dungeon and the saturday I had a great session with my by now regular guy in the Shaft. Still do not know his name; we don't talk much, or better: we do not talk, period. No fucking around with this guy, literally: We locked ourselves in a small room on the second floor, where he kept me on the floor, almost pulling out my balls and nipps, while I tried to keep his dickhead behind my throat for minits without choking. Did puke though; which gave up great gooey lubricant. Also serviced his ass the same way; wow!

a piece of general daro observation:
Yes I retreated to a private space for the above session; it was that kind of a very special thing; it would not be a standing up affair, so a bit of extra room, when available, makes sense. And eh, following the guy, getting yourslef locked in . . .it all adds that little extra. But on a general night I prefer public action. Retreating and locking doors behind you is only done by pathetic insecure rookies. In general I'm pretty proud of what I'm doing, what I make happen and an appreciative or a subltly participating audience will only enhance.

Su 1-7-2001

Dutch Pride

NL's Pride week was in Rotterdam this year
Of coure the term has come to mean the same as dutch courage, or better said "cowardness" and
even more accurate:
"self destruction".

On the news page I already mentioned the events about the MARTIJN organisation. I had some more un-nice encounters with the police. I was in the start of the parade with the bikers. Arrived just in time from Bonn, but got held up at the parade preparation ground by a policeman, who said I should have a banner on my bike to show I was gay or something to be allowed on the grounds. How silly can you get. I said I just arrived after a 3 hours drive from Germany and that my outfit somehow made it quite obvious that I was supposed to be there; (I did change into my leatherharness minits before). He told me I should have this banner of Pink Spirit on the bike. I'm not even a member of that club, only of MSR, the official ECMC affiliated Rotterdam Gay Bikersclub. Anyway I was not going to be deffered from participating so I talked my way around the police and joined the others. Then the police enforced us to wear helmets; That while the parade was shielded from all normal traffic and had a speed averaging about 2 km/h. (Now that is hard on a motorcycle; luckily that threw out the Harleys, they got overheated immediately, allowing me to take out my earplugs ( yeah ;) . The security guy talked us into following police orders while I was in the mood to ask them to enforce orders by either throwing me out of the parade or arresting me. I would have loved to go to court on that issue. At the end of the parade I was also told that Apollo, the Rotterdam gay youth organisation had been forced out of their premises a a result of years of pestering and throwing in windows by allochtone groups. This was kept silent because the city of Rotterdam already has too much problems with islamic youths.

Where are we going? The direction of Yugoslavia? What is it with Dutch gays anyway? Tolerance going down the drain; gay disco consumerism and self censorship the new norm. It is time to revitalise the political gay activist groups we had in the seventies. We are in real bad need of them again do do some new queer-culture strategy outlining.

anyway
To return to the theme of this column:
Day ended at the Shaft where Chris had arrived from Berlin, missing the parade altogether through hours of thunderstorms on German motorways. Did some nice fucking with help of my last Viagra too. Hmmm!
Help me remember to get some more . . .

Tu 14-6-2001

This and That

Back from Berlin were I had the time of my life in Tränenpalast (work) and LABoratory (sex). Great fun with my old tit-torture buddy from years back, now employed at the Dutch embassy Berlin. Off again to Kassel, München and Wien, Frankfurt tomorrow. Boy do I like this page, not for the writing (seen it all before somehow ;) but the music and pix are yum, if I may say . . They must be blue here to keep in style and have casual sex as subject. A new image is added today. It's by new friend and admired artist TOM JONES sadly it is sold (not to me :( )and so I guess he will not mind me using it here with adjusted colours (it was called moonshine anyway). Here is the story I sent him while we were chatting about payed sex:

about your rentboys adventure:
Good on you to share that!
I had only one similar experience
(well similar . . . it was with a rentboy)
and years ago:
Met him at central station Rotterdam when I missed a night train I had a 30 minit wait for the next one so I decided to check out the businessboy area there. Was after hours so very quite. Only one guy there so I started to talk, he asked me if I was in the business as well (wow, if that is not flattering I don't know what is) I said no, that I was just interested. but not planning on anything that night, and that I was just there coz I missed my train. He then told me he was getting a bit desparate for trade as he was in need of money and I was too quite that night. I said I would seriously consider If I would not have to take the next train. He then proposed to come along with me. On that I just had to say no; a) I never take anybody home with me I always have sex at bars and parties or at the other guys place if that's near and interesting. b) I had no money to spare at that moment in time c) I was not in need of payed sex, as there were so many nice guys around for free d) I had no transportation and lived in the next city. He countered those arguments with a clean straight deal. He would go along to my place for fifty guilders. Now to that I could not say no. That is at this time about $20,- and he was really cute and articulate. So we set out to Delft on the next train. Me not being sure if that was a wise move, but pretty interested in my first experience of payed sex. At home we had a drink and he asked me what I would like to do most with him. He added: don't be emberrassed this is your chance to do what you always wanted but never dared to ask your closer friends. Now he had me: There were at that time all kinds of perversions awakening in my fantasy that I never had the chance yet to experience in reality. So his remark opened a floodgate of built up fantasies. I dared to tell him I loved piss sex, but he did not have to do that for the fifty guilders. He countered that he did not mind as it was my bedroom and he did not have to clean up the mess. Well that started a whole barage of activities that I neaver dreamt of engaging in for many years al happening in the same night. The first really serious SM, the first scat WOW! It was pure bliss. This went on all night and I woke up the next morning with him still there! I had expected him to leave after he had serviced me, as trains back to Rotterdam go every hour during the night but he said, he had enjoyed it too and he wanted to thank me but that was impossible because I had fallen asleep. I was just so amazed by the extent of what he said to be his "professionalism" that I just had to bring him back to the train. Where on departure I gave him the same amount of the night before again because I just felt it was so much more than worth it. On departure he said "you know where to find me if you ever want more". Problem is, I did have a look at that same Rotterdam cruising area frequently after that night, but just never saw him back.

Su 20-5-2001

A continuing storyline?

Most accounts here are about one day affairs.
The entrie of 09-05 does continue for a change!
Yes, he was there again last nite, my nameless skinman; And DID we continue! This time he fucked my throat like there is no tomorrow. Really needed some honey at breakfast this morning to sooth it. And I really HATE honey, but what else could I use? This time the encounter ended right at closing time of the Shaft and our simultaneous orgasm. (honest!)

As I told you; this is a non verbal affair, but on splitting he said "see you tuesday". This at least means he, like me, has no objections with making this a prolonged thing. I'm not sure how long I'll survive, because it really is an onslaught on the mouth, throat, ass and (most of all) nips. But we'll find out I guess. Problem is Tuesday I'll be in Germany with Zuma, I did manage to utter that, but we did not make an alternative arrangement. Hope he understands I'll be back a week later. I did mention that I was ready for some other bodily fluids and solids from him then the cum he offered thusfar. Hope he's ready to serv that next time.

Just cut this diary in two; it got too large to allow editing in wordpad. The 2000 entries can be accessed now with a link below. Also looking for some arty illustrations for these pages, as darkrooms do not in general allow for quality photography it has to be phantasy laid down with pencil, ink or paint, I guess.

We 09-5-2001

Done it all now

Yes, continuing in the tone set by last few entries. I have done it now, there are no goals left, nor standards to set/reach anymore.

I just had the ultimate perfect fuck.

Again with a guy I've known for at least 7 years. Not by name, mind you, just from the old shaft darkroom, where he used to torture me like there is no tomorrow. He always managed to utterly, completely, fundamentally break my will. And that's not an easy thing to achieve with an arrogant, selfassured, dick like myself. After he's done with me, mostly leaving me completely unsatisfied I just follow him like a puppydog with no mind of it's own, completely under his spell. He has the meanest eyes you can imagine, shaved head, toned shortish; great belly, gorgeous huge ass, sweetest hole, same length as I, 1m79, but twice my weight. That goes for his dick too, at least, He's never in a hurry and I sorta lost track of him, just met him again for the first time in years in the Shaft a few weeks ago and toningt he was there again. Until now he just ignored my completely utterly silly puppydog behaviour, but this time he seemed to want to continue or finish the job he had left undone all those years. He just pulled my face onto his dick the minit we met and again started murdering my tits (and ask anybody: they all think I have no feeling in my tits; I can take almost anything, 'tis certainly not because I've numbed my tits, on the contrary: they only got more sensitive through the years, especially since they got pierced. It's just coz I LUVIT, the torture I mean). He grabbed my ears and forced my head to a forcefull facefuk. He did that before, It's one of the things I let him do gladly. He seems to really like me gagging on his dick. I'm not a bad deepthroater, and he knows how to make use of it: getting me to give up a lot of slimy throatgoo that is like the best lubricant in existance. This time I really did gag and puked all over his abdomen and the chair he sat on. I was pretty sure this would put him off, and indeed he did walk away and had a drink, but only to return shortly after I cleaned up the puke mess. (I did! I was in one of those rare social, responsible, self humiliating, gratified mood, you know). Now hurting my balls, while I cleaned out his ass good, only pity it was pretty clean already. We did not talk much, not a word in fact as you may have gathered, but by now I just had to ask him that I would very much apreciate to service him if he might want to take a leak. He did not have a drop to spare, but did ask if I had codoms on me, which I had not, but volunteerded to go get them at Richard's counter at the door. He was still in the same cubicle when I returned, again something extraordinary for him, deeply appreciated by me. He put the condom on I guess, didn't check, did not care. And his impressive fat thing went in like butter (did have it smoothed and prepared by two other fat dicks earlier, a good thing, not only on tv cookshows) He rammed me good for about 10 minits without coming. Luckily leaving my tits alone by now or I would have gone into an ass spasm. He again was in no hurry and I thought at the end he would just pull out and walk away, but again he did not! He just wanted to finish off with the much favoured facefuck and me puking. Which I agreed to willingly. He did come pretty quickly, very decently leaving me the choice of taking it or have him cum over my head. Of course I just had to have it, having not tasted any cum but my own for at leat 20 years. And indeed it still is the delicatessen I learned to apreciate in the seventies.

an epilogue seems apropriate here, just to reassure all of you, I'm not in a fatalistic suicidal mood, although great new ways to do this have these days become legal in our fantastic country. That time has not come, yet. Far from it: The Willem exhibition is coming up, and both Wasdag and the Zuma work are still extremely gratifying. And why stop at the top? There is fun to be had going downhill and Willem Oltmans, famous dutch queen always used to say: "You gotta keep da plumbing running" to which I can only add: " a dick a day keeps the docter away".

Mo 23-4-2001

getting older by the day

Nothing worth mentioning, so I Added an audio background, since this is the page you might dwell on the longest. Assuming, yeah, you find this interesting, well IT IS, you shit!

SIT DOWN AND READ

NOW!

Tu 4-4-2001

I'm getting old

Have been working nonstop for 3 weeks in Germany and that must surely blunt some of your senses I guess. Only had sex once this period at Deutsche Eiche Sauna in München. Although the building is the old hideout of R.W. Fassbinder and really has a süperdepuper layout the clientele was as blasé as could be expected in that overrich city. The fun I had was with an American bear and en English skinboi. Now returned home, the same boredom seems to linger. Although I'm exploding becoz spring is here nothing special is happening in my braincells yet. I did fuck last night in the Shaft, but not with the guy I really wanted to do it with, yes you know who I mean, the dentist boi. He did fuck me once and I soóóoo wanted to return the favor now he has this great huge new eagle like bird tatood on his shoulders. It truly makes his wide-bubbleass even more inviting then it already was. Ohhmmmyygggodd I'd kill for my nose/tongue/dick in that precious but. Hope he reads this and really feels depressed for not interacting with me.

Th 26-2-2001

Eurovision song contest

Bonjour Rotterdam, voici les resultats du jury de Delft: Ebonique un point; Bert Brandjes 2 points; Zuma douze points!
It sure as hell does not fit in here, but I decided to put in some words for posterity just in case we win. You Americans/Aussies may never have heard of it, but Eurosong is what all of us Europeans grew up with. Has been around since 1950! Probably the thing that binds our countries together better than the Euro ( does the € sign work on your pc?) or when it does not bind it may just start world war 3. It was a dying thing really this songcontest, but in the last ten years it has been taken over by us queeny campy types and has started a new lease of life. Anyway: We're in it! or for the moment in the national finale which is this weekend in Ahoy Arena Rotterdam. We being Montezuma's Revenge, 5 male a-cappella singers, my prime employer for the past 6/7 years.
When we win it may change my life more than I can fathom now. We'll be all over the press and even types like me, not very verbal and just a technical coworker will be pulled into the limelight. If only to point out that there is a gay side to Montezuma (my side of it will surely raise an eyebrow or 2 at the gossipzines). We'll see; let's win the thing first. If we win it will not be for the song, (silly and boring, but all winning songs were, except when Abba won). But the guys looks sure contribute: Ted is yummy and Kay has appeal somewhere too. All macho leatherqueens will fall for Paul (our bassvoice; how low can you go) and so will all the older ladies. Then there is Jeff, our high voice, who has the range of Freddy Mercury but not the appeal, unfortunately nobody told him. And to finish up we have Hans the only gay singer left after Andy went back to webpage design last year, tall, blond, but looking too normal; your ideal son-in-law. If we win it will be because a boygroup is your best bet at Eurovision these days and because of my buddy Tom, our soundman, a true audiowizzard, who really does things in blending these voices that makes 'm stand apart. Because of the difficulty of mixing a-cappella we are allowed our own soundman and equipment, which puts us in another league of our competition who have to use what the NOS can offer. If we win it will be mostly thanx to him (despite of him: Zuma doing the songcontest is just one more reason for him to leave the group this summer). That, the surprise effect of a-cappella, the fanclub . . . I seriously think we have a chance to tumble the favorites Ebonique (3 stupid girls with a soulballad kinda song). But I've rarely been right in guessing the Eurovision results. Two pages I've dedicated to it: my Montezuma page and the dwh page. Check them out.

Th 12-2-2001

Shaft sunday

The afternoon is not a bad moment to go there at all!
Two weeks ago there was a videocrew from Vagevuur at work to shoot for their upcoming book about junxtapositions (or opposites) and this afternoon I met one of the boys again who I wrote about here on 10-3-2000 (see below).

I cannot recollect exactly what happened that day, and it was only one guy of that team of four I saw again. But the guy still looked pretty impressive. He had the same agressive looking eyes, like he was on coke or speed or something, but gee, what a chest, what an ass, what a dick! I'm willing to submit again and even appologise about what happened last year, although I guess I did judge right then. He's welcome to give it another try anyway, he will not be thrown out again if he interacts with the others attending like he did now: Jumping on the bar to have his dick sucked by barstaff, while getting his ass serviced by patrons tongues. Mmhhww.

I had another specialbrew from barman Tom's dick. I alrewady wrote about that too, but boy does this guys piss tast good: You can keep on drinking as much as he can produce: it really is tasting very nice .

Th 30-1-2001

Vagevuur revisited

Was at scat party again on 27-1. Even if you're not into that sort of fun I can not but reccomend these parties. You can be shure no twinks, arro's or stupido's will cross your path these nights. Just get there in time, so that the smell is not too overwhelming yet. It's just the greatest bunch of guys gathering there from all over the world. So even if you do not take part in the cellar action, (which makes me feel that the place should be renamed "heaven") you can have the greatest conversations and get updated on devellopments in gay culture from all around the globe. And then, to top it all, there is the B&B: If you're done you can get straight to bed. Which is just as well since you probably did some drug and/or alcohol. Not having to drive afterwards is an enormous asset for the VV. Not to mention the service: very good humoured staff helping you to coffee, eggs, juice: A different taste in the morning, ooohhhw how good that feels! And what other hotels has such gorgeous and starknaked guys with halfhard pierced dicks and noses (;-) joining you at the table!
And with all that I forgot to tell you of the eyecandy that hangs on the walls of the breakfastroom: The artwork there is truly amazing. Some of it I have on display at delftboys artpages But there is so much there . . It'll never fit on a webpage, not on ten . . .

just one more fun incident I have to share with you:
I got to Eindhoven on my way back from a gig in Dortmund, so I was a bit tired and hit the sack at around 3AM (parties there start early ~10 PM) at breakfast I learned that the waterpressure somehow was lost at around 5 AM. Now you must know, were talking SKAT-party here; some of the guys look like, yes Shit around that time, covered in a centimeters thick hardening layer of it, fixed like cement to their facial or pubic hair. Having the showers failing then is no laughing matter ;), these guys still had to go back home for a few hundred kilometers (the B&B only houses about 40 guys). Some tried their luck with SPA water from the bar, others tried the freezing canal in front of the building. I luckily was dreaming beautiful things . . .

2000

It's all here

if you got the time
read on . . .