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Tu 04-12-2001
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pffew, lustrum done, what a relief !
Why do I do the things I do ?
Its so much work, so much stress, but on the other hand, it is rewarding:
If I did not mention this before, last night we had the Wasdag 5th birthday and we celebrated that by staging a gay play by Amsterdam based English theatergroup Outsiders (formerly Aids Posituve Underground Theater).
The play itself went smooth, but was a bit dissaponting in it's main theme, which was thin, but then again, it was produced for touring in the Ukraine, and that is something else then staging a gay play in blasée Delft, Netherlands. The acting, staging, music, and basic setup leading to the main plot was beautiful though: two guys getting really intimate and naked and exploring each other to stumble on silly typically trivial gay hangups about minor physical inperfections. I very much would have loved to have done the lighting myself as I feel a lot more beauty could have been highlighted. But what can you do in the Flora; a lot if I had my way, but the theater is a lot of trouble as long as this nasty little man is running the place. Totally incapable of positive approach, no knowledge either. . . Hope the place will survive this man, it still has promise, that old building, if only . . .
I hope to hear from the outsiders soon about how they will do in Kiew.
Wow, what an enterprise! Wasdag party afterwards was alright, some recognition from the dwh, presents, nice, warm and cozy, with lots of sex in the end too! John Baker and Rod Evan from the Outsiders theater stayed till very late and Rod got his head shaved and looked gorgeous afterwards. Talked a lot about future projects too. The next Outsiders project promisses to be fitting into Wasdag culture far better then Sexually speaking, as it 's planned to cover S&M grounds. We could probably be of assistance technically, promotionally as wel as in casting as we have a decent supply of exhibitionistic guys without much sexual inhibition in our clientele. There was one guy who came up to me already saying he would love to get undressed for an audience like the guy in the play. I don't know about his acting capabilities, but he would show nicely on a stage; has a pretty perfect body, tasty dick, and beautiful black HAIR, down to his waist! You do not see that too often nowadays! I would not mind taking part myself. Wow, taking a beating, eating ass, getting facefucked for an audience? If only I had time. Or is it a matter of taking choices?
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We 14-11-2001
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felt this is was a really nice idea
for world aids day:
And as I'm working on december first (Zuma, stadsschouwburg Eindhoven), I'd better write it now.
You've probably seen Queer as folk. My downstairs neighbour has part of the soundtrack as Windows opening tune on his PC, so every time I scan a picture there I hear: "I'm doing it; I'm Really doing it, yeah!" It always reminds me of how I felt in 1973 when I discovered the wonder of fucking and being fucked. Before that I was always thinking: I may be gay, but I'll never ever be doing Thàt. Well, lots of great guys helped me throw that line of thinking out of the window: the floodgates were opened, I fucked myself silly and, boy, was it great.
My house in Delft filled up with gay co-students and life was far more beautiful then I had ever expected. On my first crosscountry trip through the USA and Canada in 1976 not a day passed that I did not find another fuckbuddy. WOW! I was part of the elite that could enjoy the pleasure of active as well as passive fucking.
That is untill around 1980 when the pleasure was taken away from us. On my last pleasure-trip I did about 24 fuck sessions in the 48 hours I spent on Fire Island. Only later I found out from the documentary and the band played on that dealt with Patient Zero, a canadien flight attendant who, according to this film, on his own started the epidemic, that this guy was on the Island in the same weekend. True or not, I did not get infected and am sero-negative to this day. Unlike a lot of my friends. My best friend died in 1993, on the image below you see him explaining the advantages of free sex in "aaardige jongens" a theatershow we did in the seventies.
We did do the first bit of warning for the virus, in another show in 1980. As is recorded for posterity in the dissertation of Dr Marty van der Kerkhof, Netherlands only scientist officially promoted on assfucking, who was himself singer in the dutch gay punkband "Tedje and the Flikkers" in the early seventies and co-founder of gay studies at the University of Amsterdam.
I did stop unprotected fucking and after a few accidents with torn rubbers I stopped fucking alltogether for almost two decades.
In this century I needed optimism badly and so I have started again on the old routine.
Illustrations of me going about this activity can be found at the bottom. Stupid, you may say, but hey, I still feel it is not fair to have my prime passion taken away from me for most of my adult lifespan. Especially for us old survivors, who remember how great it was this is extra tough. So now I have taken the step of accepting the calculated risk. I am aware that being on the cocktail is not a pleasuretrip, and I certainly am not looking for seroconversion and I'm not suicidal either. Just, every now and then I meet a guy who really wants to get barebacked and if I have recently been informed of my serosatus, which happens a lot, as I am participating in the Vaxgen trials, I sometimes do say yes. Knowing I am not spreading and thinking that the active guy runs less risk (mind you, less, it is not zero). I also still do like a live dick up my own arse, but here I take care that it does not cum in there. Again not without risk, but, let us say, reduced risk. I do feel that riding the motorcycle is at this time a greater risk.
To finish off I'd like to say that I wrote this not as a bareback promotion. I wrote it more to think over and re-evaluate my own code-of-conduct. And I'm open for any comments, criticism, suggestions, or just a date? |
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Su 04-11-2001
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fainted
Drank too much wednesday after the "Aaardige Jongens" had played on the DWH movienight. Guess it was inevitable after seeing yourself in a movie twentyfive years younger. To get over the hangover I went swimming again at lunchtime and tried to do the usual 1,5km in 30 mins. Did not manage that, took 6 minits longer. The breaststroke went ok, but in the 1km crawl I ran into . . . Tell me how do cyclists call that moment when you've had it. Never mind; I pushed through did the dives to finish, then the steamroom and cold shower and then I always stretch my calves and upper legs, by pushing hands flat on the floor 60 times.
At 30 however, my knees wobbled and all musscles threw in their towels, right: "the man with the hammer" is the cyclist name for it. So there I was stretched on the tiles with pool attendents surrounding me asking if I were allright and helping me on my feet to a bench to relax. Just too much mental strain and subsequent over- and undersupply of blood to the brain will do that to anybody who disregards his condition like I did since midsummer. Somehow this reminded me of the opening pages of Allan Hollinghurst's swimmingpool librairy. I took the warning serious, so stacked up with a fresh load of poppers, vitamins and viagra I went merrily on my way to the Vagevuur Rubbernite slash Videoshoot. Did enjoy the work part of it a lot. It turned out I was the only real professional so I had both hands full with doing lights and a second camera at the same time. Watch out for that video though; I guess there will be some extraordinary footage in it. We filmed in the canal in front of the Vagevuur, at sundown on saturday so we could have some daylight to soften the contasts of the black and creamcoloured shining latex and rubber. Lights on the other side of the canal with Lee-colour 120 gave a brilliant shine. The usual fuses blowing, lots of spectators, the rowers, Vagevuur neighbours had a lots of boats out too. Wow, I wish I could have filmed some of these guys, those arms, those legs, one of them did appear on the rubberparty later that night, so I was told, but I did not recognise anybody wearing gasmasks. Also a bit of a problem to get the general partygoers in front of the cams: I had expected them to be relaxed about it as most were irrecognisable anyway, but iour bright lights did hold a lot of them back, or was it just because we did not explain it clearly. Maybe they were afraid to interfere or stand unwanted in front of lights or cam, while tyhat was exactly wat we did want. Well, evaluation wioll follow. So luckily all filming was done at around midnite, leaving a few hours to play, which I did. Now I'm of to my dinner-club. Talk to you all again soon.
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Sa 27-10-2001
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hit spiritual low again
Looks like a rollercoaster not? Can't help it; it's just the way it is. Saturdaynight and I don't feel like going out! I guess I should reduce the alcohol intake; but then again: I saw Total Eclipse again at the DWH on wednesday; now thàt is alcohol consumption. Absinth even; never tried that, better keep it that way. Still, that film is growing on me. First time I thought it was kind of awfull. Now I feel it is magnificent. Verlaine is a horrible man in the movie, but he must have been so in real life. Rimbaud is just a perfect hero and their love is pretty convincing. Only Verlaine's dick comes in view, but we have a good view of Rimbaud's ass as he throws down all of his clothes from a roof ledge.
Di Caprio is pretty impressive in this tough role. But we knew he could convince as a lowlife ever since Basketballdiaries. For those who have not completely scanned through everything I've put online, here is a riminder-link to one of the GREATest poem èver. Rimbaud's hommage to man's asshole. WOW! Note that it is written in or around 1870.
Monday is saunanight, maybe that will up my spirit and this week is the roundupweek for my steamshower project as from next week I'll finally be doing Germany again with Zuma. Finishing is on hold until the materials get delivered half december I presume. So january I may have a trialsteamsession. Maybe I get a new gay guy living here. erwin is pretty enthousiastic, well at least it is a guy with a website! Picking up my swimming routine will probably help too. It does give a huge endorphine boost and maintaining shoulder and chestmuscles is not a bad side-effect either. Also saunanight and wasdag lustrum to look forward too . . .
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Tu 23-10-2001
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optimism again
three reasons: Amazing events at wasdag, AEX, Dow Jones and Nasdaq are definitely up and the drama with the pipes yesterday has subsided.
I got through yesterdays major hurdle, Jippy! The 22 mm coldwater T-connection is in place and does not leak. Today the 15 mm hot is on the menue, but that is less of a problem as it does not involve soldering in a narrow claustrofobic corner with firehazard. The smoke alarm went off twice because of the fumes I produced. But that was all.
Totally exhausted I arrived at Wasdag, being on your knees and on ladders for such a large part of the day is not something I'm used to. Twice I was on the verge of calling in the professional plumbers, but enough of that now! Wasdag started of on the wrong foot: We had a drunk barman arriving at LG22. Did not really notice it until he was undressed and behind the bar, stuff started smashing on the ground and a line formed waiting for service. As the second barman had not arrived yet and it was incredibly busy at an unusual early time (21.30)
I was getting ready to step in myself. Luckily the other barguy arrived, assessed the situation and took control. Pfff... sigh of relief. The problem was caused by a deadend loveaffair. He'd gotten a sort of dear john message that afternoon. Still, intolarable, but as it never happened before we sent him home and forgave him. Was it full moon? Was it the extra publicity round I did? Did terrorists spray Delft with afrodisiac substances? I was barely ready sorting music behind the dj booth, in dire need of a cup of coffee when the place was filling up already. Did I miss the Wintertimechange? No, that's up next week. Normally everybode comes in, sits down for coffee and gossip first and then slowly moves to the clothescheck, undresses and slowly goes direction cellar, and after a drink or two gets in the mood for adventure. This time around everybody was butnaked the minit they got in and not only that, all dicks were standing at attention! I could not believe my eyes, what a sight! Amazing amount of new guys too, what did we do to deserve this? Well hope it is a new trend and things will stay up, up, up ;) I'll take care to arrive prepared and rested so that I'm able to devour some of the goodies. Yesterday they all left at the time I was getting around to that :( At midnight everybody was done and leaving. Not that bad really, since that's the whole idea of Wasdag, compact and fast, so that you leave relaxed and able to face another working week. Next week is saunanight so, who knows. This friday is cellardance too, sort of a Wasdag without the dresscode. DWH is looking up, definitely. Attendance on wednesdays and sundays has doubled last 2 months. Two of the four fridays are doing well. Yeah, the way to go . . . Time to get on with the plumbing again. |
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Su 21-10-2001
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Pagesplit & Depression
No memory available to complete this operation. That dreaded warning spashed it's fat ass across my screen again. It is ridiculously untrue as I only had Explorer and Notepad on. Cause was the latter as it does not allow files to exceed about 33 k.
The solution is to split up the webpages. Which is good as they get too large for readers mental health anyway. I now have to find another irritating tune to accompany the reading.
I searched for somewhere over the rainbow, as I thought it appropriate for my pretty depressed state of mind. It got me on a site called songbirdcry.com with a rightclick disable script on it. To prove that using such scripts is ultradumb and they don't work anyway I stole their tune! It is a bit boring and that is why I play it double here. That gives a nice glassy reverb to the high note and you can play with it too, by changing the delay with the pause button.
somewhere" will have to wait.
If you're a fan: here's the official Garland-page with a link to Judyradio.
Now quickly on to what this page should be about: My depression is caused by COC leatherparty in Amsterdam last friday. COC leather was always the best thing Amstardam has to offer, but I hated it this time: Lot's of gorgeous lights but the guy operating the system was asleep, nothing moved cq. changed the whole night, just a few puffs from the smokemachine. The action was of the same level: just did one or two blowjobs, and not a single fuck or SM action.
Maybe I can lift the depression by completing my plumbing task for today: getting the cold water piping extended to the new bathroom. |
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Fr 09-10-2001
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Old juicy dick image
Just checked if the old material was still online at a-e-c, the old free webspace provider in Austria
where I registered 5 years ago. It is the only free provider that does not put ANY banner
or popupwindow on your screen. And they've proved to be very reliable and decent, while allowing evry kind of content. And yes the pages are
still there. I did enjoy my old viagra page-design. Maybe you do too? Also the dick on page two of that story is one of the nicest I ever
saw.
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Fr 05-10-2001
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building
Skip this bit if you're here for dirt; this is about clean for a change.
I had a leaking shower dripping down into the john the floor below. As I made both myself 25 years ago when I moved into the house, I felt very little inclination to repair the thing. The fact that I have a great luxurious new exhibitionist shower in my bedroom with wiew all over Delft and that the old one is only used by the tenants on the second floor did not help.
As it ruins the walls and floors below getting the job done just cannot be postponed: If I want to claim tax reduction for this year most of the expenses will have to be made right now. So I started breaking out the old concrete and walls (silly, why oh why did I make them so durable with steel enforcement and the
plumbing so cheap and weak!) With everything pulled down and kneedeep in rubble, the WTC towers fell down. Work stopped for over a week. And still it is hard to get going again. Maybe a little reporting (some feedback even?) may help here, as it does with sex. 
First I had planned to include a sauna, but after realising that nobody ever was going to use it and it would almost halve the surface left of my second tenants room I decided on a double shower as in the image above.
Now as I'm on the verge of getting the new walls set up and passing the point of no return I decided on a twoseater steam/massage/shower: A] It is mostly prefab and will force me to go ahead with plumbing, power vents and drains once the order is placed. B] I luv the possibilities for social showering/steaming/sex C] the smoothly moulded seats in the walls have that decadent feel D] The one I like best fits exactly in the space I have
How it looks, you ask? Well, just wait for a movie of the first session in there . . .
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Su 30-9-2001
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Bigdick came in my throat again last nite
as he has the tendency to do, like about every other time I meet up with him in the Shaft. Who am I to complain?
Maybe this story gets boring: I already told it here, but it keeps on repeating. I shudder when I spot the dark bald face with the big mean ass in the long black coat: Yep, he's here. Came in at the same time as I arrived with DJ CP. He lets me wait for an hour or two, talking with friends and the crew at the end of the bar. Then, like 20 minits before closingtime, he finds me and I kneel in front of his crotch. He first half kills me, hits me in the face, giving a bright flash of yellow light on my retina. Hurts my tits to the point where I pull away, and that is not fast. Nobody else goes that far. Within seconds I recover and give them back to his control. Then he rams his dick into my gullet. Puke and salliva dripping all over his balls and ass and my groin. I hear the Lulasong in my head: "the baseline is cummin" "NOW". He leaves me gasping for air without as much of a word. I can only try to work his taste back from my throat to my tongue.
He's good!
quote from unknown source . . .
In the end
"In the Glories of the 80's he said, 'In the end there's nothing to fear.'
I said, 'Blow the end now baby who do I gotta shag to get outta here?'"
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Su 23-9-2001
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comment after all!
WOW WOW WOW
had already uploaded todays new istallment when I got a pleasant shock at my last mailcheck before switching the PC off:
There was a message from Ian Duncan!
Everybody who's a regular here knows how big a fan I am of that guy. His link is the most elaborate one on my linkspage ever since I started that in 1998. My heart really skipped two beats. Maybe three? I had written to videoboyslive and asked them if I could put up their peekcam on the Delftboys pages. Less than a day later I got the reply from the hero himself. I tried to keep as kool and collected as I could in my reply but to be honest: deep down I'm boiling! Just bare with me for a few days until it is on at delftboys. If you cannot wait just sign yourself up right NOW to videoboyslive ! |
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Su 16-9-2001
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no comment
Enough has been said, about sep 11th and the WTC, about terrorists, religion, most of it utter stupidity, so I've decided I've done my bit and refer to the chapter about pim fortuyn below.
just drew me back to an image of myself on top of it in 1978, here on the left, in white, pink triangle pin, henna-coloured hair, smoking! Wow, those were days! Just a quote here that made me smile:
If you want it tight you shoulda brought a bigger dick.
well, some remarks on other issues then . . .
Quit here, this sunday afternoon. My downstairs neighbour is off to Bonn together with wasdag Frank, as it is the last chance to see the great Hockney exhibition there. Hope his book on painters tricks for getting anatony and faces right is out. It is something I always wanted to learn but I must confess: No talent at all, but in my humble opinion neither has Hockney ;) Vagevuur last night: it's getting monotonous, but it still is Europe's best! You should smell my hair. As I'm not meeting anyone tonite I've decided not to wash it yet. The smell will also hang around the inside of the motorhelmet for weeks. Hmmm! Check it out for yourself, if you dare. Peace to you all |
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Su 09-9-2001
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Voyeurs and exhibitionists
Vagevuur fotooshoot was last friday, and man, did it work! I'd had some e-communication with Sjak, one of the organisers beforehand: He told me there were already two cam-men, and he was afraid there would be more cams than actors. So I said I'd take my cam anyway and decide there whether I'd use it.
Anyway,
I wanted to get into some action first, as I thought that getting behind the camera would kill off my hornyness. Man, was I wrong: One of the camguys, the undressed one with the circle tattood on his wrist, walked around with a great big hardon all the time. WOW did that look hot! He was by far the most tasty guy anyway, both front and backside, but the camgear around his neck and the air of his focus on the tech affairs gave him that extra authority that would surrender even the heaviest macho-master type.
I did not get out my cam until the guy who runs the Vag-hotel, who always comes down later (never asked his name), inspired me to go shoot some video while there was still action going on. I did and loved it:
Not only was it a great relief not to have to be shy about the cam; not having to be strategic about permission to film, because everybody was actually inviting you to come and look at what they were doing. Even the guys with hanky around the neck (code for not wanting your face photographed), were not the least hung up. In the dark with a limited viewfinderimage it was often already too late: I already captured a smile and only then I saw the scarf underneath. The nightwiew capability of the cam makes them far clearer then they expect to be in the dark. Well, guys do not worry: I'll edit out all of that, but I sure will copy in my mind all those great expressions of agony and extacy.
Also there is something extremely horny about filming like this. You have the cam to operate, so your focus is on that and you do not look around like you normally do thinking who shall I get into action with. You get into action with what/whoever comes into the viewfinder. And not only do you film it, you can at the same time get your own dick into the action, and film that as well!
Autofocus, auto-image-stabalizing, nightshot and supernightshot with autoshutter switching to 1//3 second (giving fantastic movement-blurr) also proved to be essential equipment assets. Do not expect supersharp images. In my opinion blur and grain add a lot to bring across the power of this night.
Now you all want to have a look at the action I guess.
Well, officially all rights to the material belong to Vagevuur, and this is supposed to be a page for written accounts of my sex-exploits,
so only small images here of my own dick. This should definitely be at least an annual Vag-event.
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first half of 2001
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It's all here
if you got the time
read on . . .
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