accounts of my adventures

Darkroomdiaries

Date	thoughts, well accounts really:
mo 19-07-04	BRILLIANT teazer finally getting on with editing the below session to dvd. a 1 minit preview is online here. The first showing of the whole 72 minits thing in dvd resolution is this sunday at 14 hrs, right here in Delft, for participants of this weeks scatshoot. Interested? mail me. Got myself 20 m² of rubber and industrial streength pvc and great set so it's going to be interesting.
th 01-07-04	That was fuckin BRILLIANT ! No images of the London shoot here yet: I'm reorginising the pc's and have disconnected the networklines between the pc I do webpublishing with from the other two. They are now called the audio and video pc. And it makes them run much smoother, faster and safer. All the video has been tranfferred to the D drive of the vid-pc; all in all some 65 Gigs. or 2½ hours. Hope to have some video online in a week. Thanx Rob, Brian, Will and the other 8 for providing lodging, guidance, a perfect sleaz-playroom as background, but most of all for the hours of mouthwatering fuck-hot dirty action you all enabled me to record. You're indeed the most incredibly hot guys I know and for now you're leading the score in my eurovision dirtcontest! A copy of the previous scat-dvd went to a Lisbon guy. here's his reaction: Hello there! The DVD arrived safely and sound on Wednesday, which says a lot about the efficiency of both our Post Offices; I never expected it so soon. ( I posted it MONDAY! ) You ask for any criticism I might have. As for comments, I would probably do without the music, but that is a question of taste; I prefer no music at all, only the background noises. As for content: You know, although I fantasize regularly (everyday) about experimenting with scat, I have NEVER actually done anything – including playing with my own – so what I watched was a little over the top, to say the least… Still, thank you very much and I hope you let me know when you have more. All the best. P.S. – Sorry about our winning the match. But you, Dutch, behaved marvellously as usual; the streets were jammed with people celebrating afterwards, and in the middle of hundreds of thousands of Portuguese I had the pleasure of seeing hundreds of Dutch enjoying themselves almost as much as if you had won! another interesting quote: "A recent national survey of young single men shows that about 20% of them have no interest in getting married anytime soon. Apparently, a growing number of heterosexual males feels that marriage is strictly for gay guys."
th 24-06-04	Still here the Stena speedferry did not sail becauze of the storm this afternoon, so I'm resceduled to tomorrowmorning. Starting to regret I decided to go motorbiking and did not take a traintrip. Train travellers just got diverted to the channeltunnel with no delay at all. I did use the time to get a few loose ends tiep up. Now a short sleep is called for, the boat goes at 7.20 AM! Just hope the videoshoot will run satisfactory. A report on monday!
su 20-06-04	Good Morning At powerup of my PC this morning this chat happened: jmm: hi adschur: morning jmm: fine? adschur: yep jmm: me too adschur: just woke up . . .still sleepy, need coffee first jmm: cheesy cock? adschur: let's look and smell . . . adschur: don't see much, but smells good n strong! jmm: mhm adschur: would be nice if I could pass it on . jmm: yes adschur: did you ever see the original john waters film Polyester, with Divine in smell-o-rama jmm: no adschur: everyone got a scratchcard when you entered the theater every time a number came up on screen you had to scratch that number's patch on the card; gave rosessmell but also shitsmell jmm: wow adschur: www.dreamlandnews.com is his website jmm: ok adschur: hope I get to smell your cockcheese oneday jmm: me too jmm: cu now isn't that sweet? As we're on the subject, some random quotes from mister Waters (in the best of Warhol's Interview style): Your new film is called Pecker. Was God taking the piss when he designed male genitalia? No.I don't think they're ugly. Certainly, out of context, penises are... undignified. But it just kind of hangs there. Well it doesn't always just hang there. What's your favourite term for the penis? "Favourite" means you've really thought about it. "Cock" is what I would say. I put a term in Pecker, not for cock but for vagina. I thought it was the rudest ever: "beef curtain". I heard a punk girl say it: "She kicked me in my beef curtain." You're gay. Is it better to be gay? I don't think it's better to be gay or straight. I've always thought the privilege of being gay was that you didn't have to get married or go in the army - although now we fight for that privilege. I'm totally against gay liberation saying we're like everybody else. Who wants to be? You gave Ricki Lake a tremendous break when you cast her in Hairspray. What were the working dynamics like between Ricki and Divine? Divine taught Ricki how to walk in high heels - Ricki had never been in a pair before. (Laughs) Ricki kind of freaked out when we bleacher her hair. That bright orange stuff in Harispray wasn't a wig. It was her real hair. And Divine said, "Oh, please, Ricki, how can you be worried about that? I've eaten shit, I swam across a river in drag in Female Trouble, I ate a rotten cow's heart in Multiple Maniacs." So, what could Ricki really say with this kind of trooper giving her advice? Pecker incorporate a lot of your unique touches... I admit, teabagging was a new one to me, John. Teabagging was a new one to most people. I like to learn new sexual acts in the autumn of my years. Everyday should surprise people about sex. Teabagging is when rough-trade go-go dancers dangle and dunk their balls onto fat, bald patrons' foreheads. Tell me more . . If you've ever had any kind of oral sex you've at least had a close call with tea bagging. I once saw somebody do it for a tip at a Baltimore gay bar. But they didn't call it tea bagging, so I don't know if I made that up of heard somebody call it that. I was surprised yesterday when I did one of the late night talk shows and they told me a detail of Ken Starr's Report that I didn't know. They shared a footnote with me - now this is alleged from what they told me because I haven't seen it - that Monica Lewinsky rimmed the President! Now that was allegedly in the Starr Report. If that's true, then I like her all of a sudden. And I was startled. While teabagging is kind of a ludicrous sex act, rimming in the White House must really be hard! (Laughs) Where can you do that? You have to take your pants off, bend over - and the President has a rather large rear! It must have really been awkward, I think. (Laughs) So, if she did in fact rim the President, I now salute her. Do you foresee it becoming a national craze? It would be a lovely one. Although if you're too militant a tea bagger, it must hurt. And if you're the bottom in the tea-bag situation, it's a fleeting moment. It's hard to see where the satisfaction comes from. You promote another fascinating practice in Pecker called Dutch oven. What's that? It's when you're in bed with your partner, and quickly, without permission, you pull up the covers over both your heads and fart. People are always telling me different dirty words and practices, and I try to put them in my movies. I also don't think there's been a film that fetishizes voting booths before. What's the allure? I vote religiously. But when I go into a voting booth I get confused. I feel like it's a peep show and think dicks are going to come through glory holes when I pull the levers. I also have Pecker standing in a shopping bag in a voting booth. When I was 16, I heard that's what all gay men used to do at Greyhound bus stations: Go in a stall and stand in a shopping bag so people thought there was only one person in there. for more of this great stuff, just visit the site.
fr 18-06-04	Richard This bit is mostly for the guys that still have strong warm sentiments about the Shaft, the nicest bar Rotterdam ever had, which sadly came to an end last year, because the manager of the place, Ben, slowly but surely, lost his brain capacities as a result of years of insufficient self-health-care and continuing effects of the HIV virus. The place in the end was rightfully closed down after advice to that effect from local health authorities to the mayor of Rotterdam. The strong force behind the Shaft was Richard, who already had separated himself from the organisation when he found himself unable to halt the decline two years earlier. He in turn got the Shaft to re-emerge last season at its original location, above the Gay Palace, in the form of monthly parties. But then this spring Richard's health also took a wrong turn and he ended up at the LMC in Leeuwarden, where I have been visiting him yesterday together with Martin (of Holland) and Oma, the black guy, who's familiar loud voice still echo's in the ears of everybody who used the coat-check at the Shaft. I'm happy and relieved to be able to report that Richard is getting better. He will be staying in Leeuwarden for the near future, as he still needs lots of the good care he receives there. As you'd expect of him he's already running lots of social events for his fellow patients there, including a self cook group and assistance for patients-pc-use. We did take pix and shot vid in Leeuwarden and hope they warm the hearts of many a sentimental former Shaft patron. wanna see/hear rich? a piece of vid in realformat = here a somewhat larger sized version in wmv format = here.
su 6-06-04	Dracula Just saw the documentary about Bram Stoker on tv. Never knew that he sculpted the main character of his most known book to playwright Henry Irving, who he was in love with. He, in true Victorian spirit, suppressed all that and married a preraphaellite-like woman, but their relationship remained nothing but a coverup. Stoker had fainted when he first met Irving, so much impressed he was by that man. He became his secretary and lifelong personal assistent, though he was far more educated and litterated than Irving actually was. He just worked to make Irving and his theater a succes, sacrificing all he could be himself for that man. Fantasies of oral sex and the suppression of that in the Victorian world all played a major role in the main action of the book, making his story much more clever and the work of a genius than I originally thought it was. When he gave the new book to William Gladstone, then prime minister of the UK, he said: I hope you don't find it too immoral, it's meant to be highly moral. Writing had taken 7 years, so he was disapoited when critics did nor receive it well. He made the mistake of not securing the rights for the USA. where it did become a hit sooner. Worst was that Henry Erving hated the book. He could not accept it that Bram was his equal, so he had to continue working and slaving for Irvings's Lyceum theater. In 1902 the theater bankrupts and closes, mainly becoz Irving took bad business desisions himself, to prove his superiority to Stoker, who urgently advised him not to do that. Irving dies soon after and then there was no purpose for Stoker's life. He did write another 6 novels being depressed and sick and drug-induced. He had lived as somebody else's shadow. He died in 1912 62 years old, probably of syphilis. In 1921 the first Nosferatu comes out and begins the cinematic victory of the Dracula story. It is in his notes that the vampire bite originally came from a dream, where he was surrounded by women, who were going for stoker's throat, and then Henry Irving comes in and chases them off and sais: You can't have him, he's mine!. POWERFULL! That sexual underground was masterfully returned in the recent film, Interview with the Vampire, where Bradd Pitt and Tom Cruise perform the first male vampire bite, that as now is reveiled is so very close to how it was originally intended.
sa 5-06-04	POZ Relief: POZ has returned to the life of the living. As I told on 12-04 and on 27-02, I was worried that some real harm had come his way when he left a message on his diary denying my suggestion that he was a walking disaster. He just got sick of it all, set off to Mexico for months and left no forwarding adress. He now re-emerges in a louisiana swamp as a cajun guy, shooting alligators. Living in a cabin to match, but WITH internet access, so we can once again enjoy his continuing incredible life story. With every new twist my respect for this guy grows. I'm ready to eat his shit now, as long as there's not too much fish-remains in it, mind you.
fr 4-06-04	FUCKIN' HOT ! Marien's Spartacus has its première today. The video in that show comes from the vidshoot used earlier in Warfuck, the play by APUT theater. And now released in full as a Vagevuur dvd. Do go to Frascati if you want to see a theater show that is MEN ONLY!, vey raw and messy, horny, live on stage, very Dutch (guys dressed in traditional Volendam fisherman's pants only), howling Dutch torch songs, awesome! it's erotic, not only becoz of the vid; the dance they do with pvc sewagepipes is groundbreaking. Then there is the great texts, written by Rob de Graaf, that miraculously find a balance with the ongoing stream of porn. Strong, but sweet, but do go check it out fort yourself ! In all modesty, though, I regard it as a personal landmark to have a video I was involved in with lighting and both behind and in front of the cam has made it's way to this spectacular and unique usage. Also great to see the lighting concepts I used in the vid were drawn through in the light design of the play by Patrick Jonker. I just love it when light caresses and strokes bodycontours in not to be misunderstood colours. I did not ask for that, but i's great to see my concepts in that recognised, as they were not greeted with great enthousiasm at first by the others in the Vagevuur team. Well, perhaps they indeed are better suited for use in theater. I cannot deny my roots, can I? my final note: Being a true exhibitionist it sure got me hard to see myself sucking and fucking for a theater audience.
mo 31-05-04	FUCK ! I've been burgled! In the night of 25 to 26 a burglar has been in my room and stole the videocamera, with all the tapes recorded in Austria. Luckily nothing else is missing and the cam was due to be replaced so not of great value, but the loss of the wedding-pix in the beautiful baroque parrish church of Ried im Innkreiss in Austria is a blow, especially the 4 grandparents of me and my sister in law, for whom it was most likely their last trip abroad, were very much looking forward to view this memory. I advised them to be patient in the bus back, and not watch the vid directly on the small screen of the cam but wait till the dvd copies were done. This will now never happen.
su 30-05-04	Michael Moore Just a quote here from a letter by a soldier in Iraq cut from Michael Moore's site: Dear Mr. Moore: I’m writing this without knowing if it’ll ever get to you, not knowing why, or knowing what I’m going to say. I’m writing it not knowing if I’ll ever finish it or mail it. I’m writing it from the trenches of a war, not knowing why I’m here or when I’m leaving. I’ve toppled statues and vandalized portraits, while wearing an American flag on my sleeve, and struggling to learn how to understand. I was in Vicenza, Italy when I heard your Oscar acceptance speech. It was the day before I boarded a plane and experienced a “combat landing” in uncharted territory in northern Iraq. It was such a surreal feeling—the only light came from a red bulb—we sat shoulder to shoulder in silence. We were told to expect heavy artillery/chemical attacks. I can’t say I know what was on the minds of those men packed next to me, but I assume it was thoughts of family and religion. But me, a single 20 year old, I was thinking about what you had said. I joined the army as soon as I was eligible – turned down a writing scholarship to a state university, eager to serve my country, ready to die for the ideals I fell in love with. Two years later I found myself moments away from a landing onto a pitch black airstrip, ready to charge into a country I didn't believe I belonged in, with your words repeating in my head. My time in Iraq has always involved finding things to convince myself that I can be proud of my actions; that I was a part of something just. But no matter what pro-war argument I came up with, I pictured my smirking commander-in-chief, thinking he was fooling a nation. I discovered that the result of the war and the actions of G.W. cannot be treated as the same issue. Bush accidentally did a good thing for the Iraqi people. After the fact he's starting to claim humanitarian intentions for going to war - obviously bullshit. But he realizes that is the only positive outcome. I could explain what I've seen here; a people forced into poverty & ignorance – but I'll spare you. I try not to think about the ultimate future of this place. I'm sure we'll cause them to fall victim to Banana Republic and Joe Millionaire, with a puppet president and monopolized oil industry. But there will be plenty of time in the future to worry about those things. I can't say I know what I believe. I am willing to accept that my opinions are a result of a given subconscious, not sufficient knowledge. Do I support care for the low income class because I truly understand the system, or because I've personified inadequacies and identified with those who experience struggle. Does a conservative oppose gay rights because he genuinely understands the issue or because he's scared to face deeper levels of humanity? I call myself a liberal because I've been moved to tears by the words of Paul Wellstone, scenes in "The Awful Truth," the funeral of Matthew Sheppard, and the homeless people in the city I once lived in. It's not what I know, it's what I felt. It's dangerous to rely on emotions to guide your moral compass – but it’s the only way to be honest. I understand everything I believe may be wrong; that I believe for a reason, and that reason may not be reality. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. Maybe just that I can't look at this war politically. I can only look at it as an experience that has taught me that life is dictated by seconds and inches; one that has caused me to face death and loss and fear. And at its core, stripped of the WMD's and no-contest contracts, it's been about one thing: serving my country. The most difficult thing has been learning how to be proud of that. This country, I'm serving,…is it America? Has it ever been? It's always bothered me that, despite the American philosophy, it became NECESSARY for a civil right movement, it became NECESSARY to form the ACLU. I've simultaneously battled Saddam loyalists and these questions. Kind of an odd setting for suddenly doubting my patriotism. But while my fight with those trying to kill my friends & myself is far from ending, the fight within myself has ended. I found what I've been fighting for. It's been you, all along. I hated you on a plane ride in the dark with shaking hands. But you've been the roof of my loyalty, my bravery, and my dignity. Mr. Moore, you are America. This isn't a "I'm a hip liberal & I'll be cool if I get an autographed copy of Stupid White Men" letter. I've faced every weapon, from SCUDs to swords, and I've had to face why. And you've been the answer. I'm serving a country in which you live; where you're allowed to speak and PEOPLE LISTEN; where you're allowed to write and PEOPLE READ. What a beautiful country – every injustice has a prosecutor – every struggle has a defender. We are still a country being born. Compassion will never lose to conservatism…the country could be ruled by Jerry Falwell and Dick Cheney – but there will always be tears, as long as there is injustice and oppression and greed and hypocrisy. And there will always be you, the people you've taught, the lives you've influenced. You reminded me that America exists, and I suppose this letter is meant to thank you for that. I can't explain the pride you've instilled in me, and the comfort you've given me, to know that if I find myself fallen on the battlefield, I gave my life serving something I loved and truly believed in. Sincerely, Mike Prysner interested in more of Tom Jones's slightly colored views of the american male? look at his recent works slideshow on Delftboys
we 19-05-04	Off to Austria Family trip this time; yes, still treasure the bond, so a church wedding, baptims and one of the rare opportunities to have profound chats with 3 generations of Schurings. So for grafix a small detour to some great trade-related icons I came across. Now don't you get nervous . . .
we 12-05-04	Eurovision Yes, we have this annual song contest again this week. It's bigger then the Oscars over here, t's super-camp, but we don't try to force it down the throat of the rest of the world and accept nobody from elsewhere will understand the inticate cultural climate that makes this thing bigger every year and a hoot for us homo's It's better to focus on Europe for a while, now George Bush with his christian-morals clan has clamped down the adult internet industrie (and caused an historically unprecedented flee from the USA to Europe), he has in his infinite wisdom decided to throw the porn-depraved-masses some impressive and realistic SM clips, that the USMC guys produce in Iraqi prisons to keep their good spirits up. It's just not fair: we smalltime producers just don't have the financial clout, nor Pentagon backing to get our cast fitted out in those great USMC uniforms, get permits to film at a true prison location in a nice warm country, get such great looking real-men of Arab origins to act as subs. For that matter Arab tops reacted pretty assertive: forgetting we banned SNUFF-movies 10 years ago, they got their vidclip featuring realistic chopping off of an american head through to an audience breaking the records of recent oscar show. und . . . Why are george-and-his-merry-men allowed free publicity for their productions on every newsshow in the world, while all sm-porn sites that contain "bloodshed and gore" (see regulations VISA, regarding paysites) are driven out of the USA. it is amazing but as everybody was getting tired of the over-stereotype porn vid american-style anyway, all the above instigated a revolution: for the first time the hollywood dominated industry is really challenged by European produce. Two companies must be mentioned here: Cazzo Berlin based real-men porn, for those into skinheads, not afraid to tackle, some might say ridicule, the political views of these guys. Bruce la Bruce did Hustler White and Skinflicks with Cazzo, giving them arthouse-credibility. Cadinot If you're into sweet and romantic that brand from Paris should be a household name for you. For over 25 years producing those movies where the intro's leading up to the serious action take like forever. But get evrybody into romance and twinks making a mess, i.e. ejaculate prematurely, and spend towels like there's no tomorrow. Not much changed over the years but as I said in the past, their website was tipically french, meaning downloading ultraslow, it now has been REVOLUTIONISED: great graphix, profiles with uncensored pix of each and everybody who's ever been in one of the 40 productions to date and great trailers of the recent productions, 14 Meg highres versions, also uncensored (the french are such a relief in these moralist days), download streaming; I'm sooo impressed!
su 25-04-04	various If my acounts of sexual exploits are a bit erratic and rare lately, not to worry: a strong emphasis on work last month. Also, do you remember me writing here, just over a year ago about the pain in the ass? That story has not had it conclusion, not by far. Some medication called isosorbine dinitrate did help me get rid of some of the symptoms, and parfenac helped to overcome most of the unsolved mistery of the itches. I have just now finally solved the problem of what I was actually suffering from: it was most likely LGV, (lymphogramuloma venereum), a disease said to only occur in the tropics so not recognised by most physicians until recent days. There indeed has been an outbreak of it in the Rotterdam region. So go to your local health service (GGGD here) again if you suffer the same symptoms, they have a cure for it now! and do not walk out of there with a simple diagnosis of "it's glamidia", when you also have a seriously hurting asshole: this LGV is new to most nurses and it hides behind a positive result of the glamidia test, but you need a very different cure to get rid of it: a 3 weeks supply of doxycicline (2 x 100 mg a day) pills. All will be well this summer, when 3 porn vidshoots are planned. Also in the theater an interesting project is brewing: a play about guys watching queer-porn in a production by Marien Jongewaard and Rob de graaf. On the other hand lots of work projects are in doubt if the financing fails to come through, which is doubtfull after the recent report of our culture council. Did enjoy the last dance project in the Amsterdam "old church" tremendously! That was a true session of ""dancing on graves". Not without pittfalls :) Did you ever try to build an even dancefloor that would not move at the first jump and would not hurt the fragile bonestructure of our dancers, all without the possibility of even inserting the slightest nail into the centuries old engraved tombstones. a pity that it was still a bit too cold in the church, Matthew Kelly Roman, the guy with the most amazingly beautiful body I've seen this year had to wear a vest, while originally he intended to dance barechested. Not to mention how he turns from a nerdy shyish guy with glasses into a hypnotizing seductive devil when he's on the dancefloor So if all the above is not erotic enough, If you really need your dayly dose of sex exploits: here's a good alternative. and here's another, and here's another, and LOOK: ?
mo 12-04-04	a touch concerned you may have read my review on the great writing of my soulmate from New Orleans dated fr 27th of feb 04, below here. you may also have read his reaction on his own diarypages subdueing my opinions a bit and making clear that he's not just a walking disaster. nevertheless that message is the last I heard from him, so I'm getting a bit concerned that he indeed may have entered into another disaster. If anybody can set my mind at ease, please DO!
tu 08-04-04	Schwul in die DDR I just saw the first and last gay movie that was ever produced in the Deutsche Democratische Republik, or for you guys from across the atlantic: East Germany. Now all of europe is drooling about the cult film "Goodbye Lenin", its so nice to see how rich the culture of the DDR was in it's final days. It's indeed sad that so much of it is gone forever. I did work in the old Berlin and crossed Checkpoint Charly many times, and hated the DDR polizei and their bent straight way of reasoning. (to keep it short). Much of it comes back in the main character of this movie called "coiming out" about a gorgeous schoolteacher who takes like forrrrreèeèeèevvvveeerrrrr to make basic desicions, destroying the lives of his mother, his girlfriend and boyfriends life in the process. But boy do we get a view of how great East Berlin's queer world was in it's final years. (and what is final? it's still much warmer, and hotter, for that matter, than former west-berlin in mybook !).Go verify for yourself: a great film.
su 31-03-04	Sentimental The burial of our old queen still dominates my thoughts. She was so much a part of our lives in the second halve of the past century, when our country stood for tolerance and sexual liberation. We were pretty proud of the dutch way of doing things back then, and not giving in to pressures from abroad when it came to defending our liberal aproach of things, on issues like sex, euthanasia, drugs, we had our own "polder-model". That's all under threat right now. another small example: We have a great big sailing clipper called the city of Amsterdam which is currently touring the US eastcoast harbours. It was in New York last week to comemorate the Dutch founding that city, but was not allowed to dock on a publicly accessible quai because, like all old ships, it has a bowstatue . This one was of a mermaid, with, you guessed it, naked breasts. Your countrymen indeed are getting completely out of hand when it comes to appreciating the human body. Can you blame us for considering the USA becoming ever more ridiculous? I said this before, but I feel I must repeat every time I write something critical about the US to prevent hatemail: I wish I could add something positive for a change, I still care a great deal about the country and have lots of fun, creative friends there.
su 21-03-04	Sad weekend Yesterday our beloved former queen Juliana died. A true mother of all of us. Great defender of tolerance, who coloured our lives and country for the entire rebuilding period since WWII. I also saw the Rosa von Praunheim film Der einstein der Sex about Magnus Hirshfield, the first guy in the world who defended gay rights (Berlin end 119th early 20th century). Let us be inspired by these 3 great persons and keep up the defenses for tolerance. on the issue of tolerance: do read the new editorial over at Delftboys.
fr 04-03-04	Surprise us . . . ? I'm so happy I live in the Netherlands: while the US is in uproar about approving gay marriage, we already have an official governement ad approving gay divorce ! We see two quite solid butch butchers rolling meatballs in their shop. The camera zooms in to the first: My partner and me are not actively seeking another at this time. Then the cam moves to the other one, who smiles and sais: but if you have an appetizing proposal, we're always open for surprises . . No this is not a porn film: it's a tv commercial. I know you do have gay themed ads in the USA too, I'm familiar with the commercial closet. But this one is from the Dutch ministry of economic affairs, suggesting small businesses and consumers in the Netherlands do not have to stick to one electricity- or gas-supply company. I bet Bushes administration does not have this sense of humor. Would Kerries staff ? ? download it in quicktime (3,4 meg) or wmv (1,6 meg) formats.
fr 04-03-04	Fuck, looks like a love affair with the Poz ! He obviously found out about my review. Who am I to complain about that. As far as I'm concerned: let the online courtship proceedings continue. As regular readers know, I never did shy away from manholes; I swear to them for breakfast, the tastier the better. Pos even did a second reflection about my writings I just want to clarify, I never thought of him as a serious disaster area, of the type that everybody should be made aware of and to avoided at any cost. It's just: disasters make for much more attractive reading then hunky-dory success-stories. The strength of his caracter come through and his honesty I only admire and envy. About the looks, I wish I could give a good judgement, but the fact is I have not seen any recent images of him. Not even sure anymore he ever did publish one in the past. So I must retract what I said earlier, but just by looking at his writing it must be obvious he's there strong and lean and he must have a gorgeous cock. I will say no more about the hole . . . Continuing the trans-atlantic theme: Got some reactions of the 'mind your own business' type about my comments on the run up to the US elections and the marriage issue. Let me clarify a bit: I do not feel I'm putting down the USA. Far from it! I have too many great friends there and each time I visited for recreation or work I enjoyed myself tremendously. But If the USA feels it can have a say about goings on in the rest of the world, should we not have a say back? Yes, we are deeply concerned. Both about foreign and economic policy as on the social agenda. As we here have been the authority on the marriage issue for some years now, let me again say: Marriage is an unhealthy concept for all, but gay and straights shall have the right to make the same mistake.
fr 27-02-04	Fuck, can this guy WRITE ! I've been a great fan of two weblogs done by two boys who make a living, or should i just say survive, in the sleaziest gay barscene imaginable, you got it: Quartier Latin, New Orleans. They were lovers for a spell, but that ended in great drama and a pool of alcohol and vomit. It also meant the demise of their weblogs, but as they gradually picked up their lives again both returned to reveiling their inner most thoughts to us. The first called himself: Slutboy, Marquis de Déjàdû, Chateau Pernod, Chateau Bimbaux, respectively. he obviously is the more stable of the two, better looking too, or at least he was, as is shown to the left, but boy can he paint vivid pictures of the turmoil that goes on in those French Quarter nightpots. pozlife, au contraire, is the true walking disaster: don't get close to him or you're likely to stumble into the first manhole on the pavement, as soon as you hold hands. And yes, his name does represent his HIV status as well as his attitude, which is remarkably uplifting, regarding . . . Of course this guy delivers the best writing of the two. As his weblog suffers from accessproblems, as it would, I copied recent gems here. Apart from my need to share impressive writing, the secondary reason to note it here is to again bring across there's not much joy in getting yourself infected with HIV. Although I'm still of the opinion there is a great deal of joy in bareback fucking. Hope you guys see the subtle distincion. As not a lot of you guys do, I just have to repeat lines like these every now and then. My Californian friend Americo keeps on making excuses for his fellow countrymen. I replied as follows in my last e-mail: Your country is OK, I know, I've visited it often enough and I still love it, but why did you elect a president like that? I guess you did not, he just swindled himself in the position, but then . . . You guys let him get away with that! What he has said about gays and marriage is just sooo stupid ! We here would think it's bound to lose him next elections, but remember your democrats trustworthyness; Bill Clinton retracting his gays in the military issue and exchanging it with the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, straight after he got elected ? You know marriage is not for me and since we have had the gay marriage here for almost a decade I can tell you gay devorces are almost up to the amount of marriages now, proving marriage may not such a good idea for gays (nor 4 straights). but if people want to ( we let straight couples make the same mistake) . . . let them . . . Finally another BUTT is out. Great interviews with REM singer and with former ZIGZIGSputnic singer, who has an amazing cock! a very short PUnkROck sorta poemquote to finish: When you're born different - Stuff happens. now I'm on poetry, and the honorary title of national dutch court-poet has been transferred from a homo to a hetero I have to make up with this: I love the voluptuous pendulous ripe Pectorals! I love the heavy basket full of waiting wonder! I love the massiveness of the arms and biceps dwarfing the face! I love the power of the shoulders consummately lifting the weight! I love the lean body yet with not overtight skin. Rather skin that almost has the quality of foreskin wrapping up muscles that individually bulge blissfully transporting this MuscleGod from one orgasmic contraction to the next. I love the (more than) suggestion that this MuscleGod's waist is both so hot and so narrow that the cloth falls seductively from the hips. Its only the considerable size of the currently minimised bulge in his basket and the powerful accumulation of hypertrophied upper thigh muscles that stops the thin soft velvety pants from falling to his knees. I love the narrowness of his Abs and the bulgs of his intercostals that draw my lips to them like magnets. All competing. All winners. WWWOW!that's by Freaker !! he runs a yahoogroup on Gilbert, a seventies male physique artits
su 15-02-04	Wat moet ik ermee ? or what's it to me? First: for guys who came here through the link in squeeze: the wasdag does have it's own homepage here. Second: these pages are about my exploits in the homo-sex industry, not only in Delft, but all around the world. When the page gets too long I start a new one, so this is the most recwent one. At the bottom of each page is a link to the past, going back to about 1999. Been appointed regular columnist for our local gay paper. For a long time I felt that my somewhat sour comments on local goings on were considered the tipical venom of an aging queen. Well, I'm flattered now it's public that old queens can be good for things like. . . pointing to sores and blisters in the fabric or our touchy little minority. So if you want to know why I prefer smallscale parties with some identity to those anonymous queer mass gatherings where we don't have any say about what entertainment we really like, just read "Andersblad" so I can really focus on international aspects here. Or . . . last night showed that heterosexuals are indeed overtaking the new homo generation: The first hetero sexparty at dwh was a great succes. Record barturnover, capacity crowd; great atmosphere, really made me feel proud though, of the great look of our redesigned venue and the facilities we can offer now, masterminded by wasdag and the current board of governors at dwh.
tu 03-02-04	Laundryday Saunanight passed along as expected. As I feel it is about time for a younger person to take over, I announce here and now, there's an opening for the position of coördinator . Part of my finale and strategy to get things moving is the interview in the coming edition of Squeez (Dutch homo-glossy). The text there is short and does have a typical Squeez air, so, it makes sense to exhaust some stuff here that did not make it to the mag's pages. In the days of the homo-marriage, all young guys seem to be dreaming of finding their prince, stay at home together for all eternity and get old together in bliss. ( Dont let George W. hear this, he may change his mind and see this benifit of allowing same-sex marriage). Luckily we see the gay devorces quickly catching up to the number of marriages, as lots of guys who share the fortune of being homo find that marriage is not for all: We don't naturally produce offspring and so there is a valid excuse for us to be lisensed to continue the hunting game for many a year. This is one of the reasons why the lifestyle of Fortuyn was acceptable to most while that was not the case with Oudkerk. Another reason of course was that Pim was so much more flamboyant and intelligent about it. So let me say it again to our young generation: it's just fine for men to run any which way their dick leads. This sentiment may be stronger in our genaration, that grew up in the sixties, when everything one could do, one should do, then in the young generation, that still has the powerfull motherfigure looking over the shoulder, saying "it's dirty, despicable". That to me is the typical female attitude. I even heard it voiced by Mieke van der Wey on last saturday's TROS-nieuwsshow when she objected to Maarten Ross using the word "geil" (horny) to describe poetry from the new Komrij poetry-analecta. The only woman left totally free from those sentiments is the greatly admired Grenaine Greer. now let me repeat after her: the male body, especially when he's hunting for sex is of an unrivalled beauty and has been through the ages, as many classic artworks demonstrate. It's part of us, the hunting for a partner is in our nature, and now that over 10 biljon homo-sapenses run around this globe, what is more fitting evolution then just enjoying the chase for recreation instead of re-creation? And don't let the Pope or George W tell you otherwise: all animal species that are treateded by over-population become more homo-erotic. It IS natural ! And yes, my profession is light designer, theater lighting that is, so that is what I'm doing at the wasdag too. It's my way of showing my admiration and respect for the male body. On my route through the darkrooms of this world I always keep thinking in tandem with our butcher filling the displaytrays : "the meat has to look the part to get your mouth water". We use the same technique, same colours even, not as bright and ''in your face'', but I use exactly the same light color. Today's darkroom is a new world: no longer pitch black, that is no longer allowed by Arbo and GGD's and fire-regulations, environmental controlers and a dozen other local authorities that felt the need to meddle with our playgrounds, of late. You're not only there to watch though; you are at least part of the scenery, better still you play your part: The leatherqueen is dead, Motorbikers these days wear gore-tex, which does a far better job at regulating heat, damp and shielding on impact. But yes, he needs to get out of that hardly erotic shell-suit; unzip; tear open the velcro. In order for us to see musscle, endowement, to behold the man, the hunter and his prey in their full glory. And yeah, then there is dance. good music, part of the scenery, the show: age old african mating rituals being re-enacted. That's how our evolution is going: still the basics of african tribal drummers: helping to enhance trance; to lift both spirit and dick. That's a different style, than the commercial tripe we hear at some gay disco's these days. Much more capable of moderating and refiring of heartbeat. Masters of this, or better absolute rulers in this field are Cockring's David Hernandez and and DWH's Coen Peetoom.
su 1-02-04	weekend Busy partyweekend. But before you start reading here click this flash history-lesson and watch/listen till the end, then come back. Was at the Shaft party last night in Gay Palace, I've written about the redesigned building before, but it struck me again: I like the idea that the great stairscase has been filled with erotic art, but how on earth did they decide to have the walls filled with Cezanne-like images of women and heterosexual acts; do we not have artists like Heerdink, Johan van Breukelen, Bernard, to name but a few, to fill their walls a bit more appropriately? They could have looked at the old Thermos sauna as an example, where in the early days they had Willem Kok originals on the walls (sealed to protect them from the moist climate). It is another example of the self loathing, self discrimination, that our younger generation seems so full of. All the way at the top of the stairs at gay palace you have a kind of glass lounge where you can look over the city. There I found a guy in brown rubber squatting over a guys face on top of a chique red velours chaise longe, now if that's not mouthatering and asking for trouble? So I took my turn under the fat ass, and had a shitkiss-drool session there. hmmm. Just hope we did not stain the couch too badly. Tonight we have our Queer dance nite in coöperation with the open youth-club de Koornbeurs here, with afterparty at DWH, and monday another sauna Wasdag. Looking forward . . .
fr 30-01-04	from our correspondent as I've been working my ass off I don't have much to report from the darkrooms of the Netherlands; even the two weeks of running the very well received Truus show in Amsterdam did not result in anything wilder then the previous entry. Not to worry: my friend Joe Patton is more then ready to make up for this. Although it might not fit in the general concept of a diary I still want to share a few tasty bits from our correspondence: The chill of the Bush Administration is moving thru the gay world here in the US. Scarey. I know several men that will move to Canada if Bush wins the next election. People are now comparing the Bush agenda to that of the McCarthy years during the Korean War. Bush and his religious right are making lists and publishing them to scare groups that work with Gay groups here in the US. There is a chill in the air here among Gay groups. But, I fear that Gays are now like sheep before the wolf. Weak and stupid. Unable to organize and settle their differences so that they can stand as one force. Included some pics of this last weekend---yes there was alot of shit play with Rob!! Also included one of my Trucker buddy--he is very hot!!! I call him my Nordic Trucker! Ad, Ohhh, I wish your wet mouth could be here soothing my overworked hole!!!! Thank You so much for the offer----perhaps someday the two shall meet. G Was thinking about Jean Genet yesterday. I was introduced to him at the young age of 18 . "Our Lady of the Flowers". Mostly remember the description of the young man's "dangle berries" on his ass, cocaine, and sad drag queens, all set in 19th century Paris. At the time, I was having a affair with a Frat brother who was a Marine. He had a six-pack stomach and a huge cock --learned to deep throat from that Marine's 9 inch cock!! Sweet Memories! Lets see--Where did I leave off.........Ah, yes After filling a bucket with our watery shit and smearing the brown and green slime across our bodies it was time for a break. We came down to the studio and had a sit and decided it was time to cut a few lines of "Ice" and see what effect it would produce with our X trip. Of course, both drugs are famous for giving one a dead dick. So, fucking with my own cock was out of the question. My buddy has a wonderful thick cock that can stay hard for hours under normal conditions. But, to my rescue came the bananas that I keep on hand in the kitchen. I grabbed 3 before we headed back up to the bedroom. The stench was like a wall when we hit the upstairs!!! The bucket of shit was really getting the rooms ripe with the smell of raw man shit. We had a few more bags of water with me probing his ass for any soft turds left behind. By this time he was producing a most beautiful rosebud. I had agitated his hole to the point that he could not piss----that prostrate just got all excited. So, to piss, he would get on all fours over the bucket and try to piss. Oh what a sight this produced for me! He would contract his stomach muscles and push, desperate to release a full bladder of piss. As he would do this, his rosebud would extend out and become a entity of it's own. It begged to be sucked, licked, and otherwise abused by my demanding mouth. I waited. I was the caretaker this night and he was in such a dither to piss. I had plenty of time to abuse that red bud! I left him to relax and settled myself down in the bedroom. The bed had been covered in plastic sheets so we would not have to worry about getting things too messy. I like to smoke cigars when playing in shit---the odors combine into a rather masculine cologne that sets the tone for rougher play. When he returned, covered in smeared shit and looking like a sewer rat, I had him get down on all fours in front of me. I commanded him to pull his ass cheeks apart and push his rosebud out for me to inspect. Wooof! What a sight! Not only did his bud come rolling out ,but now you could see the "red meat" inside! Grrrrrrrrrrr! Food for a real Man! I took my cigar and started rubbing the tip into this red, glistening bud. In and out I worked the cigar. The tip was wet with his butt juice. I licked the cigar tip that he had coated with his juice. The taste was sweet and I wanted more. His rosebud became a very good cigar holder--- the tip of the cigar moistened up--- I clipped the cigar tip and had the beginning of a very good smoke. You must try this sometime. Very nice. By this time, the "Ice" had turned his hole in a pulsating cunt. Time to fill it with a banana and have him hold it for a while. The banana was somewhat green, so it slid right up into his chamber. I turned around and he lodged the other TWO bananas up my sloppy man cunt. After checking with him to make sure he was all right and not wigging out on me, I laid down on the floor and had him squat over my mouth. I was anticipating a meal from his hole. His bud was pure heaven. After licking, sucking and nuzzleing about on his red bud he pushed out the banana. Wooof! Not only was it warm, but it had become coated with that tasty butt slime-----and suprisingly it tasted like BANANA PUDDING!!! Betty Crocker never had a recipe like this in her cook book!!! Dang, I could have a banana like that everyday! Of course, he was eager to eat my bananas waiting for him. My hole more than obliged his hunger. Two bananas landed in his greedy mouth. He made the same comment--Tasted like Banana Pudding!
su 11-01-04	some good & some bad stuff More US hypocricy to report: not only did Paypal close my delftboys account, saying they cannot endorse adult webcontent, also my friend Bernard lost his dot.com URL, which was hosted by a US company on the assumption that his content was considered child-porn. Well he still has his Dutch URL, so you can check for yourself: he may depict young guys but his work is ART, in capitals! Please send him a note of support, as he is considering changing his subject matter, which would really be a shame. He's one of the great virtuoso's of our time in homo erotic pencil and brush work. And If the American Cullture nitwitz have nothing better to do, they could just as well start a campaign to tear down all Baroc and Rococo churches in Bavaria and Austria, as there is the source of all those nude angels! Probably plenty of fanatics to be found who think it's a good idea if the us starts a war against one more religion. The SM/domestic violence-dance piece I'm doing in Amsterdam these weeks ends at 10h30, which is way to early to go partying in that city, so I hopped on the bike, went home to change and then was at the Boss around midnite, and we all know, party hours run at least an hour earlier outside of A'dam: It was in full swing at the Boss, Jeroen was there, and lots of other regulars, but also a baldy, with a VERY tasty and smooth crotch. I have been at his ass for at least an hour and he was at mine for about the same length of time. After that hour we had to get our breath back, and our, by then foul smelling, mouths not only kissed, they started talking to each other too ! And so I found out the guy went for my ass because he remembered it from ten years earlier! He told me we'd met on several occasions in the period I was living with Willem Kok at the Marnixkade in Amsterdam. He told me we'd been swimming in the Marnixbad and had some very memorable sex at the upstairs darkroom of the old Eagle, now called Dirty Dicks. So you see . . . ass eaters will smell each other wherever they go . . . There was third guy who joined in the action at the Boss, called Dennis Koot. (he gave me his card, otherwise I would have forgotten his name; I'm soooo bad at names, I hate myself for it!) He's a grafic designer, and dj and also gifted with a tasty ass ! what more can a person ask for. Almost asked him to come do the music at the wasdag but just in time he told me he fitted in the "Skihut" dj-variety so, I'm not to sure about dj-ing but for a rimming session, he's very welcome !
sa 03-01-04	first bit We did not have a white christmas here, but we did get a white newyear's day. On the way back west with Martin and Richard from the Vagevuur it started to snow and it continued a full 24 hours. We got home safely, but I was tired from the vagevuur party so I stayed home to work on the db site mostly. Right up until fridaynight when I first went out again to the dwh. Weird walking out into the fresh snow. Weird how silent everything is. Hearing your footsteps, but also the sound of the motorway, about 250 meter away from my house and soundshielded so completely inaudible at other times. Also, looking in through the windows at the dwh, it has that ultra-romantic feel you get from watching the christmas-themed work of Rick Chris. It all looked so peacefull, but I've got this eery feeling all is not as beautifull as it seems: returning to the vagevuur; it was nice and I did enjoy myself, only, I got several close-up-partaker's reports that there still was barebacking going on. I'm not promoting it here, but I am still protesting against the methods the Vagevuur uses to get rid of it; the old fashioned forbidding just does not work! The only thing that makes sense is to point people to their own responsibilities, for themselves and for others. And again: taking selective disciplinary actions against one group of vagevuur patrons is very unfair, will also work counterproductive and pins the board at V V right into the catagory of the neomoralists. Lots of voices are heard on the Netherlands these days claiming that we've reached a limit when it comes to adding ever more additional rules and legislation in our over-regulated country. The Vagevuur should also stay vigilant as we've come to expect from them. Were they not a gay-political-activists group originally? Instead of just forwarding on regulations, saying the law is the law, they could make a word of public protest. That would very much strengten the ties and trust between staff and customers, which is now under threat. Internet freedom most certainly is past it's peak, and is on the recline since august of last year. And just as we needed safe-sex in the eighties to survive we'll now need a safe conduct-mode to survive the religious right, the new-prudism and the gay hipocrits who say we, the old fighters, who got them their accepted place in society and the fuckin' homo-marriage, are chasing away the young generation with our sex focussed lifestyle. Yeah right, those silly queens are not the biggest problem though, The most aggressive attack comes from the guys in the US republican stronghold: a few quotes: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle....I point the finger in their face and say, "you helped this happen." ~~Jerry Falwell speaking about the 9-11, The 700 Club "You say you are supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist." ~~Pat Robertson, The 700 Club, who also sais: "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." "Our Goal is a Christian nation. We have a biblical duty, we are called by God to conquer this country. We don't want equal time. We don't want pluralism. ~~Randall Terry, Indiana News Sentinel Woman are less equipped physically to "stay on course." in the brawling areas of business, commerce, industry, and the professions." ~~Pat Buchanan, San Francisco Chronicle So with these guys, so fanatically willing and able to trash us off the face of the earth I guess it really is time to strengthen our defences. First objective must be to prevent re-election of George Bush. It is unlikely to work, but in another 9 months the world may look different. If terrorists want him re-elected they should go on terrorizing, so I guess they'll keep quite for the coming year. But then, terrorists have never proven to be very bright nor great strategic thinkers.
2003	It's all here my whole account on a weird fall and so much more if you got the time read previous scribbles back here . . . or . . . contact: e-mail or go to the cam page