Date

thoughts, well accounts really:

su 21-05

Tired

Was at triple X, A'dam's prime fetish party (so held in Zaandam, a half hour bus-ride from Adam center). Anyway, the party was just fine! Talked a bit there about this here weblog, (right, what else would I do?). Got critizized about the format of the page. It does not show as it should on screens at lower resolution (you need 1024 width). In the past that was no problem, but gradually I've been tempted to include larger and larger images. The stylesheet settings made them float over the writing on the right. For now I've reset things so the pix slide under the text. Next month I will move to a new page and an alltogether new layout. Anyone have examples/suggestions for a really cool log-layout?

th 19-05

Eurovision song contest

Especially for you americans: this is an event that cannot be explained, but it's been going for decades and brings all queens of Europe together for the ultimate CAMP event better then any footballgame or US "Oscar night" could. This year it comes from the capital of the new Ukraine: Kiev, So I guess Russia, Latvia, Macedonia or Moldavia is going to win ;) The center of Eurogravity has moved east :( We Dutch had a pretty awesome Whitney Houston clone this year, but she never made it past the semifinal.
I tried to get a sweet showboy to appear in the middle of the eurologo, but appearantly stolen flash files do not allow anything floating over it, so he moved over here: We do stand by aunty Mick's winning song.

Now I'm on the subject of incomprehensible Euro things for those from other continents: We Dutch are going to vote NO next week at the referendum to approve the European constitution. That vote does not mean we don't see a future for Europe, but gives us Dutch a last chance to make a difference. With Europe enlarging our voice gets less heard and sounds èver more uptight. Not only will we never èver win the Eurosongcontest again, we will no longer be taken serious by Europe. We are just the sweetest boy in class. Ever tighter rules in Europ have not shown they are being obided any better: There was a rule that EU-countries could not have more then 3% budget deficit. When we Dutch almost surpassed that limit we were in for billions in fines. France and Germany did indeed cross that limit and said to the rest of us: What ya gonna do about it? Fuck off! and NO, we are not going to pay fines coz we're big countries and we do what we want. Our minister of finance argued that France and Germany also had voted to accept the rule, to no avail!
Well, that is one major set of arguments for our NO. I have one more: Holding referenda is a stupid idea in the first place: We have elected parliament to make our hard decissions. Letting the people decide themselves will always turn out in favor of the most conservative options (see Switserland, richest but mosst retarded country of here. We have been getting a print of this constitution in our mailbox. Nobody undestood anything of the 180.000 words. Only that first line: All European rulings will have priority over National laws. That is why we are against: we want our gay marriage, smoke our joints in our coffeshops, stick to the euthanasia regulations we have, and so much more.
Final ridiculour euroruling: We are no longer allowed to hunt down muscusrats: Europe has decided it is inhumane to trap them. Since when are rats human? And is it humain that we all drown like rats when we allow then to continue undermining our dikes?

we 18-05

Headline News

Not everyday that you wake up to find your face on the front cover of the major national nerwspaper. Yep, guys, my cover's been blown, I've been outed: everybody has seen me kissing another guy now! As I have been coming out about much more extreme preferences on these pages, I'm advised it will not make sense to sue the paper. The image was made at a mass-kiss-session organised to protest against increasing agression agains homo's on the night streets of Amsterdam. In the past this was mostly done by farmer-sons from agricultural corners of the country (yes they still do exist), come to party in Amsterdam. These days it's groups of Maroccan youths, who are so mentally retarded they feel it shows manlyhood if you beat up guys who can or will not defend themselves.

The image on the right of the paper header is possibly even more intrigueing: You may think our Volkskrant is an extremely gay paper, but the image links to an article on page 4 where the English queen opens the new parliament sessions with a speech.

Queens apprentices, never too young to learn . .

mo 16-05

Movies

Somewhere in a local gay paper I recently read "there just are no great gay movies made anymore" I very much like to distance myself from that statement. Yep, if you consider what Hollywood thinks it should churn out, we've been in a depression ever since Vito Russo wrote the Celluloid Closet back when I attended a lecture of him at our local artcinema in de Kromstraat, Delft, in 1976. Alexander, Tootsy, Philadelphia, all stuff nobody was waiting for. But then, We still have Angels in America, we still have Paul Verhoeven, and most important: that multitude of bright lads in Canada who deliver surprise aftrer surprise. In the entry of 18-09 2004 there is a movie top ten filled to the brim with 14 great examples that the genre is bursting at the seams with vitality and originality. You may call me a sentimental old queen, but just yesterday I was moved to tears with the 15th film that needs to be crammed into that same list: PromQueen, unlike the young queens I meet in everyday life, managed to pull me along its romantic path without elaborate movie-effects, just the power of an honest story and not in a small way by the oh-so convincing parents, who have a hard time finding words, but do continuously show trust, love and support for their son. It's their ever-present warmth that lights up this entire movie. They are so true to, or shall I say: bigger then life one cannot but see ones own parents in them. In the end credits it shows that the film was directly produced by the Canadian governement. Which is also a bold gesture, as the catholic school it was filmed in is bursting with images of the pope. I don't see the Dutch prime minister condone a film that so clearly opposes, rejects and ridicules the views of a "befriended head-of-state".

mo 09-05

End of an era

Last thursday I got an e-mail from Richard, former manager of Shaft, legendary Rotterdam leatherbar and in that business-partner of Ben:
Today, may 5th at 12.45 Ben Houterman passed away, surrounded by his family. I just wanted to let you guys know; It's very sad, but better for him, as he was not much more then a shadow of himself of late.

I've written a lot on these pages about their place. It was my favorite haunt for about two decades, ever since the MSR (R'dam gay motorclub), moved from the Cosmo to the Gay Palace right up to the end at the 's Gravendijkwal. And it is very sad indeed that nothing of the sort remains in Rotterdam. Restrictive and silly policies of GGD Rotterdam and the mayor there have not allowed any form of resurection of the place. Sure in it's final year when Ben had already lost most of his mental capacities it degenerated quickly and it was with good reason that the GGD withdrew their licence. It really became inevitable when Ben threw out his former partner Richard, for being a too serious whiner, when in fact he was the only one left to do at least some cleaning up of the premises.

But not giving out any new sex-facility licences is doing no good to the over all social hygene of gay culture in and around the city of Rotterdam. We all know that all over the Netherlands SM parties and bareback activities have not decreased since then. Au contraire: they exploded through rising populairity of private parties. Were patrons at public places like the Shaft are at least respected and expected to be able to make their own choices. At private parties, the pressure to go along with what looks like the norm is much stronger. I'm still part of the cohort-homo-studies at GGD Amsterdam, that tries to signal trends and changes in behaviuour and practices in this field. For as long as the project runs the number of newly HIV-infected guys was highest in the group of 18 to 28, who lived in a monogamous (?) relationship. Higher, in fact then in the group of 28 or above, who tend to come out to living a promiscuous lifestyle. I was present at their recent presentation of results in april where for the first time the number of new infections in the older group was higher then in the young group. I feel this change is very much due to the closing of public sex venues and parties. It shows that you cannot stop people having sex, only change the places where it happens. And private does mean even less social control and less controlled circumstances as far as hygiene is concerned. With the old results the only conclusion that could be drawn was that younger guys do tend to lie: even in a study like this, where anonymity was guaranteed, they appearantly give answers they would like to be true but obviously forget they act otherwise when at a party with a few pills and booze. THe fact that the behaviour-enquete was combined with an axtual hiv-test hade this painfully clear. It could be that this form of moral lying has deminished, but I do not see any social changes that justifies that conclusion.

OK, back to the sad news: I do plan to attend the funeral tomorrow. I even changed my appointment to do the next contribution to the GGD project to after the ceremonies. I'm partly there to pay my respect to his family, but most of all to see some of the old friends, who played such an important role in my mental and sexual well-being over the past decades. I hope these columns of mine will continue to vent the warm sentiments I feel towards this part of homo-culture. Just to make it known that it was not all depravity, hedonism and self centeredness that drew us into this lifestyle.

tu 03-05

Buttquotes

Every now and then I do some reading in the online archives of my fav mag. More often then not I am so touched by the profound deepness of thought and ultimate truths I fiend there ( no it's not the bible ;) , I just have to share bits of issue 10, about Lutz, German fashion homo:

German sexuality can be quite shocking actually. If you look at the Berlin gay scene for instance, it’s pretty specific. All the rubber, leather, skinheads – all the different kinds of fetishes...
Yeah, they love that in Germany.
They really really do. But it’s so defined.
I can’t deal with those strict definitions.
I understand, but at the same time you can choose a different definition every night. That’s the nice thing about it. I think it would be boring to do the same thing every time. You go through different phases of different things. I mean, the idea of a fetish sounds extremely exciting to me. It’s kind of mysterious. It takes the attention away from the person. I think maybe that’s also why the fetish scene has become so huge, because in general it’s much easier to deal with a pair of leather trousers than to deal with the person in them.
Do you have a fetish yourself?
Yeah, yeah. It’s not one, it’s several, really. I suppose it runs the whole gamut from sports clothes to leather, underwear... it can change. I’ve had moments when the clothes that some guy wore would define whether I would go to bed with that person or not.
Like, leather pants would be a go or a no-go?
Yes, although, at the same time it has to look a certain way. How it is cut, how it fits the person, also how that person wears it. For example, high-fashion leather has never been exciting for me. When people wear things with conviction, because they feel sexy, that’s very exciting. Then it can be exciting from a fashion point of view as well.
Have you ever designed a pair of black leather pants?
No.
Do you own a pair?
I own ten pairs. They’re all second hand and one is too short... There’s always things that aren’t right. I probably wear only two or three out of the ten.
What do you prefer to wear with black leather pants?
It depends. Normally just a white t-shirt.
And the pants, do you wear them tight?
No, when they’re tight they don’t do it for me. I’m not into tight clothes. It’s great when you only kind of sense a body under clothes. That’s something that I never liked about the gay scene, where they all wear their stuff really tight. You see the whole body immediately. Whereas if something doesn’t fit too well, if something’s slightly off, you sort of have to look for the person in there.
When you have leather pants on, do you tend to touch yourself more?
No, because I’m so used to it now. I suppose it really turned me on when I first discovered the excitement of clothes. Like with sports gear, I’d have wanks and wanks and wanks... I’d dress up to have a wank. Put on something exciting like leather pants and then lie on a bed or sit on a chair...
And then you would open up the zipper...
I mean, that’s what is so sexy about leather pants, you can just open up the zipper and take it all out... Would you go to leather bars dressed in leather?
That came later. It was a whole process... how can I put this? I was never someone who did things from today to tomorrow straight away. There’s this thing of how much you dare to do, how free you are or how free you can be at a certain age. There was a time when I went out all the time wearing things that I felt really sexy in.
But what I wanted to ask is if you used to dress up in full leather?
No, I’d always mix it with other things. If it’s leather trousers and a leather shirt and a leather jacket, it’s too evident for me. I find the proper leather-man look really old. I mean, it can still be sexy, but it’s old. What’s exciting to me, for example, is a businessman wearing a suit and when he opens his trousers you see that he wears shiny Adidas shorts underneath. It’s somehow there, but it’s not so evident. I love it when people are not made up of one thing, but of several things. The more things they are, the more exciting it is.
Do people still make the connection between you appearing in lots of Wolfgang’s pictures in the 90s and the work you do as a fashion designer nowadays?
No, not really. I look different now, older, and I have a beard.
Like that famous shoot for i-D, I think that was 1992 or 1993. Wasn’t that one of the very first times they showed explicit nudity in i-D?
I think it was the only time. It got taken off the shelves in England.
Really?
It was banned by WH Smith, I think, and all the big chains. There was this one picture of me wanking. We were actually extremely surprised that they printed it.
How did that shoot take place?
Our best friend Alex and I were studying and living together in London. Wolfgang was studying photography in Bournemouth, so we used to go down to see him. Bournemouth is brilliant for going to the beach. It’s really beautiful. So we stayed whole weekends there, and Wolfgang took photos, as he always did. Wolfgang was supposed to do a fashion story for i-D, so he just took a whole suitcase full of clothes with him. We went to the beach and then we also went into the forest in Bournemouth, and we put on different things. I suppose about half of the photos in that story weren’t set up. Like the one of me wanking, that wasn’t set up at all. We had been in the sun all day and I kind of got horny.
Is that what you do after a day at the beach, have a wank with friends?
Well, that’s what I did, yeah. I was with my best friends, it wasn’t just any friends. It was just really natural.
How do you see that shoot in retrospect?
I think it showed exactly the way we were with each other, and that’s why I think those photos in the end turned out so good, because they were real. The fact that, at that time, that story was called ‘Like brother, like sister’ was even worse for i-D, because it made the public think that Alex and me were brother and sister. But it was that kind of relationship. It still is – it hasn’t changed at all. I don’t know what the pictures meant to other people at that time. When I look at them now, I think it showed different or alternative possibilities for being with each other. I mean socially. The fact that it was gay and straight, male and female... Alex was fairly masculine, and I wasn’t that masculine, so there was a whole mixture of things that made it all become like it was, undefined.

mo25-04

Copenhagen

Just a one-day-trip to the SLM scatparty. A very nice event to say the least and a very worthy group of guys to take over the honours of hosting the worlds prime party: a smaller space then Vagevuur with only modest lockerroom/showerfacilities, but for the rest very well set up and decorated. You can clearly see that these guys are doing this because they love it and are part of this community out of passion and not because they have some article in their satutes that states they should not discriminate in preferences, as was the case in Eindhoven. All the guys of the team regularly went around to the action-spaces, not to control it, but to take part! I did have a short talk with Filthfukker about doing video in august. That party will be two days nonstop, so much more relaxed, enabling a small corner with higher lighting-levels to make foto and vid possible, for anybody who's exibitionist enough, while not limiting options for those who have problems with their face being identified as shitfriendly. A small notice at the entry of the shootspace noticing that anybody by proceeding further declares he has no objection of being filmed.

I did stay only until 2.30 because I was still pretty tired of rounding up the theatertour with Truus on friday. But left very deeply and profoundly satisfied after some great gagging on a french monstermushroomdickhead, chocking on some very tasty asses and finally cumming on a very sweet british face.

While waiting for the plane back I took the opportunity to indulge in some naked bodies of the immortalised kind: While the Glyptothek was only partly open due to renovation, I took in the vast, VAST, collection of Bertel Thorvaldson and wondering again why evolution has made such a big stride in 150 years concerning male genitals. Has indeed the male organ grown in average size or is it just the group of sexually very active and exhibitionist guys I deal with that are all over-average? Who can enlighten me on this? The Mars and Cupid statue is the only one in his museum where the god is not endowed with a children's penis, but still is nothing to befit a wargod. That is why I chose the shot of the only true to life genitals in the museum. Pity the're not human but of a horse.

mo18-04

Party Season

Just for you guys I've met before or those who have been reading these pages, here is a rundown of events I'll be attending coming months: Next saturday I'll be in Copenhagen as said before. The week after on friday I'll be at perverts in Amdam with the best dj of the world, No it's not the guy from Breda but David Hernandez from the Cockring! Sadly this party shows again that our capital has not got it together: it was planned in a new club called sanctuary, but that has been stopped dead in it's tracks so now it's also moved to the depressing industrial area west of the city; nothing like Berghain though!
On queensday itself I'm at home for queer dance in Delft. The month of may it's XXX Leather in Amsterdam. 14 till 17th of July the scat-camp in Freiburg and in august its back to wonderfull Copenhagen
The cam will be present at queerdance in Delft and in august in Copenhagen.

mo11-04

Salt of the earth

After the religious themed easter music I was in doubt about if and what to put on here as audiobackground. I found quite some good stuff over at dJolley. Very fitting and still a rarity that lots of people did not know existed: Mick Jagger lamenting he needs is ass fucked badly

Just leafed through his stuff again on gayromeo. Boy, do I like the guys ass, his straightforward no-nonsense attitude, the taste of his shit/pis/sperm. Luckily it seems mutual; he does have some kind remarks about me there. He said a few words about only fucking other poz guys bareback there. Of course he has no means to verify ones status. Luckily for me, as I did greatly enjoy fucking his ass, eating it, as well as his dick in mine. I think he's worth just one more facepic here. Also read there that he plans to visit the Copenhagen SLM filthparty in august. Another opportunity to get some of his, and possibly your (the reader here), virtues captured on video. Sadly I still have no footage of him dumping. Confident he'll call me to the resque when he needs some of that on vid.

su 03-04-05

Pope dead

I am raised catholic, and my only prayers concerning this fact are for a new one that will have a more realistic view of the world today. My wishes will probably remain futile. An organisation that has supported a "don't-ask, don't tell" strategy for it's own task force has never been acceptable to me and that fact gave all their heigh moral stands on every other issue very little credibility.

tu 22-03-05

Agent of Influence

Another film that should go in my homo top 10 list. Not only is it stunningly good for a tv film, with major acting by Christopher Plummer and Marina Orsini, but most important because it is a dramatization of real factual history and was released in 2002 at a time when Canadians began to realise that the gouvernement of the pityful country south of them was, just like in the McCarthy days at the early sixties, again all to eager in order to fight the "major ennemy" to bend all rules and morals to justify anything.

The story is that the Canadian prime minister was to socialist for them so the CIA wanted to use their knowledge of the fact that the canadian ambassador in moscow had a gay affair with a russian and was close friends with the prime minister, who knew about this, to bring them both down. Only the strength of the Canadian secret service girl who was brought in to assist the CIA because she was considered harmless and could give the appearance that Canadian authorities were in control , and the strength of the Ambassador himself, who rather chose death then betray his prime minister preventred the worst outcome.
This TV movie explains better than any lecture the roots of the tensions between the US and Canada in international affairs. As a good friend of mine runs a website from Canada that would be rounded up if it was sun from within the USA I know all too well how they feel about such a nice big bully brother watching over them. click here for a clip.

su 20-03-05

Snax is back!

Here is a bit of a German review, for those that can read it . . .
It dates from christmas, being the date they started trials with the space as dancevenue. Only now, easter it's fit to rehost the legendary parties Berlin has dearly missed for 3 years now

Nach drei Jahren sexueller Enthaltsamkeit kehrt der „Snax Club“ in die unmoralische Realität zurück. Erwartet werden hunderte Männer, die den „Hobbykeller der schwulen Hölle“ stürmen dürfen. Apropos Keller: Selbigen unter dem Berghain gibt’s heute Nacht auch erstmals bei der größten schwulen Tanz- und Sexparty zu erkunden. „Snax Club“, 23 Uhr, Berghain, Am Wrietzener Bahnhof, Friedrichshain, www.berghain.de.

AB 10.März SMEGMA die neue monatliche Donnerstagnacht

Berlin: Ostgut Nachfolger Berghain eröffnet von Michael Hoffmann [Red. Techno Guide] Tuesday, 04.01.2005 - 10:10:23 Uhr Weihnachten kam eine Woche früher. Wenigstens für alle Fans der elektronischen Club-Kultur: Das Berghain öffnete am Samstagabend, der Nachfolge-Club des legendären Ostguts. Unauffällig sollte sich die Nachricht verbreiten, so wie die Betreiber stets ein großes Geheimnis um sich und ihren Club machten. Natürlich wurde nichts daraus. Seit knapp zwei Wochen kursierten Gerüchte, dass die Berliner Techno-Gemeinde ihre Kathedrale zurückerhalten werde. Vor genau zwei Jahren musste das Ostgut an der Mühlenstraße der geplanten Anschutz-Arena weichen. Seither spekulierten Clubgänger, wo und wann das neue Ostgut auferstehen würde. Am Sonnabend Schlag 24 Uhr war es soweit: Die stählerne Pforte öffnete sich zum „Berghain“, dessen Name an die Lage zwischen Kreuzberg und Friedrichshain erinnert. Es war wie früher. Bullige Männer bewachten die Tür, als befinde sich Fort Knox und nicht ein ehemaliges Heizkraftwerk dahinter. Der Türsteher mit den unzähligen Piercings im Gesicht – ein Ostgut-Original – regelte den Fluss der Besucher. „Der Eisenmann“, raunte es ehrfurchtsvoll und freudig erregt aus der Warteschlange. Und die war lang: Bis 4 Uhr ging es nur zäh vorwärts. Erst nach einer Dreiviertelstunde waren die 10 Euro Eintritt entrichtet. Lohnte sich das Ausharren in der Kälte? Die Erwartungen waren haushoch. Das Ostgut war einer der wenigen Orte in Berlin, wo soziale Schranken und sexuelle Orientierungen aufgehoben waren. Schwule feierten mit Nichtschwulen, Designer mit Bäckern, Schauspieler mit Polizisten. Kann man so einen Ort wiederbeleben? In der Premierennacht klappte es. Die Menschen drängten sich zu Hunderten auf den zwei Tanzflächen und an den drei Bars. Und zeitweise auch auf den großzügig angelegten Toiletten. Viele Gäste waren vom architektonischen Eindruck überwältigt. Vom Erdgeschoss flogen ihre Blicke hinauf an die Decke in 18 Metern Höhe, dann wieder hinunter auf halbe Höhe des riesigen Raumes. Auf einem Zwischengeschoss war die Tanzfläche eingerichtet worden. Wer sie über die breite Stahltreppe betrat, wähnte sich am Film-Set. So stellt sich Hollywood coole Clubs vor: industrielles Ambiente, ausgeflippte Leute, grelle Lichteffekte und vor allem tanzende Massen. Kunst gab es auch zu betrachten. In der Panoramabar hängen großformatige Fotos des Künstlers Wolfgang Tillmans, eine Installation des polnischen Kollegen Piotr Nathan schmückt das Foyer. Drinnen, in den zwei Sälen, übten sich die Gäste in der Kunst des Sich-Verlierens. Ganz wörtlich – wegen der labyrinthisch anmutenden Gänge – als auch im übertragenen Sinn. An der Bar sprang ein junger Mann plötzlich auf, tanzte ein paar Sekunden, johlte und setzte sich wieder seelenruhig auf den Hocker. Eine junge Frau umarmte trunken jeden Fremden und verdammte ihren Freund, der nicht mitgekommen war. Auf einer Couch waren inmitten der wummernden Bässe vier Tänzer entschlummert. Vorübergehende entwanden ihnen die Bierflaschen, nippten und steckten sie wieder zurück in die Fäuste. Wie immer ging es bis in den Sonntagnachmittag hinein. Der Adventskaffee konnte da ruhig kalt werden... Weihnachten hatte längst begonnen.

sa 26-03-05

Stereophonics

Nothing to mention, just felt the coverart of the new cd of this band would make a nice insane background

we 23-03

SNAX

That wonderfull sounding word is about to get new meaning this easterweekend. After an absence of 2 years it's back as the worlds nr1 homo clubvenue. As I'm not able to attend myself, Vincent is going and hopefully will sent me a report of his experiences. For now I did find some reviews of the new venue which is named Berghain:

Berlin's Berghain- The Best New Nightclub In The World?
Garrett Burns (Skrufff) 12.3.2005
"The old conceit has it that if you're tired of London then you're tired of life. Well, those who tire of Berghain must be clinically dead because it's a seriously special place. For anyone who knew the old Ostgut club, its re-incarnation retains a reassuringly familiar layout, but the scale and visual impact of the new set-up is mesmerising. Passing the aptly titled Piotr Nathan "Ritual of Disappearance' mural in the foyer your eyes are drawn up through the four-storey atrium of what was once a 1950s East German power station. Large tires punctuate the floor where by the following afternoon weary bodies languor. Climb the stairs to the turbine hall main room and you'll find the best soulful techno in the world. The space itself looks like the set of a post-industrial Bladerunner architectonic wet-dream with huge retro-futuristic speaker stacks, cascading windows and soul-revealing lighting. Berghain invites international names like Ricardo Villalobos, Technasia and Miss Kittin, though on the night we visited Dutch DJ Shindoe and Irish producer Donnacha Costello were fuelling the partygoers. Most of the clubbers tonight are over 25 and indeed it's the crowd that's one of the most special things about this club. Unlike the balkanised segregation that exists in most other cities, here it is all about the mixing. Not officially a gay club, Berghain attracts a large contingent, presenting unusual spectacles like straight skater kids dancing with shirts-off skinhead gay guys. Rarer still are fetish club style darkrooms where hetero couples are to be found (or groped) alongside their homo counterparts. Upstairs in the Panorama Bar university lecturers mingle with retail queens, builders with art dealers and, well, you get the picture. Klubnacht - the Saturday night party - goes from midnight till 8pm the next evening and lots of punters stay for the entire 20 hours. Many others arrive in the morning when things really go off the hook, with one guy telling me he ambled on in after a fruitless foray into a nearby furniture market. Soma's rising tech-house star Alex Smoke and Berghain stalwart Tama Sumo provided syncopated electro house for most of the morning in the Panorama Bar where Wolfgang Tillmans pieces adorn the walls and where you can prop yourself up at the black-rubber bar. The big paradox about the Berghain is that even though it is a mass-scale club, it is not a mass-produced clubbing experience. After Berghain London seems exhausted."

Mega-megaclub
Today's Sunday Times (no online version of the article) has a piece on the planned conversion of the long-defunct St James Power Station, recently the site of such art exhibitions as Reconstruction of a City. The station will be turned into a huge club complex, about 10 times the size of the recently-defunct Embassy. The developer's website notes that in bringing in the funk, the space will hold 3 restaurants and 9 (9!) clubs. All that made me think of Berghain, a converted power station in Berlin that Geeta over at The Original Soundtrack described as "ten Fabrics stitched together - the most full-on place I've been to in my life, both vibe-wise and architecture-wise". If the new place is even half as good as that sounds, I'd be psyched. But then, power station conversions are always exciting, as Tamsin Blanchard noted a while back in the Guardian. It's like loft conversions writ on awesome scale. Heck, a good conversion can even win you a Pritzker.

Panorama Bar / Berghain, Berlin.
Queers, dykes, ravers, rockers and the odd mild-mannered musician from Kidderminster congregate in a converted factory in Friedrichshain for the second incarnation of Berlin’s legendary Ostgut club. “Not as good as the old one” say a few (mind you, even if the old one was shit and this was the Loft, Tresor and Amnesia combined someone would still pipe up to claim that it had lost the magic), but as I was safe in Hackney two years ago when people were losing themselves in an acid haze for days on end I’m not complaining. Berlin needed this place back, and boy is it good. With a music policy which is as likely to feature Optimo as Berlin’s minimalmeisters the quality is there. And it carries on all day Sunday until people fall over. I love it. Thank goodness for my liver I mostly have to be other places at the weekend.

su 20-03-05

3 MD's accused

The case of the very awkward V.D. called L.G.V, I aquired 2 seasons ago continues: 3 dermatologists at Dijkzicht the university hospital of Rotterdam are accused of not notifying health authorities about the outbreak of this new desease because they considered the scoop of their publication in the medical world more important as public health, so they waited more then a year with going public. In that year I overslept frequently, because I dreaded getting up and having to shit shortly after that. When I went to the doctor, of course he could not give the right diagnosis, as he was not informed, so he senyt me on to a local hospital where they gave me a camera colon inspection to see if I had cancer there. They found nothing and so I ended up getting painkillers and isosorbine dinitrate wich does heal small ulcers in your digestive channels, and did relieve the pain somewhat, but of course did not heal, as I wrote 23-10-'02 two years ago. I finally diagnosed myself after reading the first publication in the gay press and got the right treament more then a year later. Of course I'm happy that worked in les then a week, but would liked to have missed the agony of not being able to ride a motorcycle for a full year, if nothing else. I wrote about that 25-4-03.

th 17-03-05

db hickups

I think I must add another link to these here diaries on a prime spot of the db site, when I'm able again, so that mc-members know what's going on: For a week now the guys who host it have found out the site was far above it's allotted serverspace and set a limit to be enforced by the FTP server. This means I cannot update anything for now, untill a new limit is payed for, approved and enforced. All that is taking it's time now and I just hope it will be done before the month is passed. So hopefully db-masterclassmembers will find this excuse here, and be assured that work on new content does continue meanwhile.
No subtle conduct, for a company that should attract customers and not chase them off. Why did they not warn me before enforcing the blunt limit? When this is all settled, I'll move, for sure!

I published a homo film top 10 of all time here a year ago (18-9). Another film MUST be added as of NOW: Two weeks ago I saw the Toronto-shot film Sugar, which was already very good, but last night I saw Hey Happy shot in Winnipeg and it blew me away completely! Hooray 4 Canadian film! There is a little bright (northern)-light at the end of the tunnel. HEY, HAPPY! depicts an optimistic vision of the apocalypse. set at a very photogenic waste dump. Director Noam Gonick says that tens of millions of religious fundamentalists can't be wrong, "There must be a connection between biblical 'end-times' and fags." Yep, the poofter filmtradition of John Waters and Bruce LaBruce is carried on into the 21th century here.

sa 12-03-05

Justice

Vince seemed very happy with his inclusion in my diary, so next week we plan to do it all over again, possibly tape it with some improved lighting, possibly with the assistance of another friend. I did not tell anybody yet on the work going on concerning my cilinder-shaped bedroomsceiling. You all know by now that king Ludwig of Bavaria was a most inspiring person to me, so his life, and inner struggles concerning religion, the state, and his perverted desires are the main theme. My US friend Steve is the artist I trusted this massive project to. Here is a tiny fragment for starters.


It shows just the bit right next to my bedside's left. A montage of how it will look is right here too. For the purpose my shower, consisting mostly of glass anyway, has been made even more transparent to enable this view, looking in from the terrace.

I'll keep you posted on proceedings here. Both on the ceilingprogress as on the taste of Vinces ass. The image left I got from my friend Pete from downunder. So appropriate here, more contribs of him are on delftboys

su 05-03-05

Jock

In his book The Arena of Masculinity, Brian Pronger describes the jockstrap as "... perhaps the quintessential homoerotic ritual robe because, just as it enshrines the symbol of the myth of masculinity, so too the straps that originate in the top elastic circumscribe the buttocks and disappear in the anus, bringing us to that place where masculinity meets its mythic undoing. And so, as suggested by the versatility of Apollo, there are two sides to the jockstrap that symbolize the homoerotic paradox: the pouch in the front as the shrine of masculinity joined to the straps in the back framing its mythic violation."
for more of this prose and illustrations see allkink.

Not much else to report, these weeks, as I'm pretty busy touring the Netherlands with the below-mentioned theaterproject and finishing my tax returns before the deadline (april 1st). Just in case you are in need of seeing me, I have placed a vidbit of the also belowmentioned encounter with Vincent online here.

tu 15-02-05

Year of the cock

Both Valentines day and chinese new-year behind us. Probably a good idea to get yourself some shares of the company that brought us the little blue pill. I feel it is already working just fine: 3 great events in one week, so indeed life seems to improve with age, as long as we watch the butter and cheese intake and don't stay at home too much.
first :
Vincent, good looking smoothy skin type, not half my age, but quite a settled and adult mindset: Looks like he's studying martyrdom, both in religious past as in politics and sexuality. He's not doing that from a distance and has set himself on a heavyduty trainingscedule when it comes to enduring torture. He still has great white smooth skin right now, but I'm sure he will come out showing the marks and be more beautifull as a result. Met last december at dirtydicks and this week visited his camouflagenetted den in Amsterdam southeast, where we passionately photographed and filmed and tasted each other.
second :
Know this one for over 15 years from the glorydays when the Shaft was still above Gay Palace Rotterdam. Bald too, stocky but tall boy, now a big-n-mean man, deep intoxicating eyes. First time we met he WRECKED me. Affter the session I was totally destroyed, sweat/piss/spitcovered with badly damaged nipples, balls, ass n throat: Totally envigorating; had his taste in my mouth and felt blissfull for weeks. As usual with darkroomsessions we did not talk so only after we redid the ecounter about 10 times over the next decennium I learned his name was Henk. When the Shaft closed down I thought I'd lost him but luckily he too found his way to the Hague's alternative. Where I met him this saturdaynight after taking down the exit set in Amsterdam. His girth has certainly gone up a notch or 2 in 2 places, but his kind of gut . . . tasty! We continued where we left of . . . Pffff . . still cannot touch my nips today.
third :
Dirk I know of last year's scatvidshoot in Berlin. While I was filming him we shot into a session between the both of us and a third guy took over my cam. We resumed email contact only last week and found out we both have not had a more intense, intimate, deeply felt emotional exchange since that session. We also agree to be very much in need of a get-together for another session like last year's and decided to do that with some other like-minded/assed/dicked souls in Castrop Rauxel this summer. That's not too far from here, just across the German border, already dripping in anticipation . . . We do need some alternatives for Vagevuur in a 200 km radius, If only for once a year. This could be it.

th 03-02-05

A'dam

Settled with the show in Amsterdam for 2 weeks, so a bit of time to explore again . Hopelfully first tonight into the depths of the totally hair-, shame- and moral-less crotch of amsskinpig. Yummi!
Further tomorrow press release drink for the new Butt Magazine at Spijker bar. Then on monday another wasdag, to get clean? Finally, my tv guide had this yum young pic of the late Theo van Gogh. (for you guys abroad, dutch filmmaker, assasinated 2 months ago by muslim fundamentalist) Don't you agree it was a shame he was heterosexual? It may not be of interest to you readers here, but I'll say it anyway: My vote at the next elections here will go to Ayaan Hirshi Ali, the parliamentarian who coproduced theo's last film, looking critically at the treatment of women in the muslim world, which was the immediate cause of the outrage that lead to his death.

sa 20-01-05

Truus

That was that: première of Exit behind me, so hopefully some more time for erotica coming weeks. Planning to be in Copenhagen april 23rd for the party at SLM København. For now here are some pix from my fav part of Exit, the intense love duet of Marc and Matthew. Mind you, lowres versions, very much copyrighted by our countries premier newspaper and their best photographer.

tu 18-01-05

Cazzo

Still nothing much to mention here, but over there in Berlin they have the presentationparty of Way Down, or in much more meaningfull German : "Typen mit denen es abwaerts geht" or "Guys that can only go further down" they say: "probably the first existentialist pornfilm ever. Too hard, too non-pc to be CAZZO, this flick can only be released under the experimental COXXX brand. Director Ebo Hill is following 25 punks, skaters, pirates and dancers into the underground of the city. In concrete shelters, bunkers and tubetunnels we find ourselves in chaos where only sex seems to matter ...
Premiere:
this Saturday, 22nd January 2005, 21.00h
Alte Weberei, Alt Stralau 4 (S-Bhf. Treptower Park)
Berlin-Friedrichshain
Free entrance

In Haarlem I have the premiere of EXIT this friday, just as gutmoving !

tu 4-01-05

fresh events . . . uh?

nothing much to mention yet: the new year starts off slow, one dim candle has just been lit however: The former COC-leather has found the strength to restart after being so lowly betrayed by the organisation that once said to represent all Dutch homo's but recently has proved it really is a dwindling minority group. I do hope they will make a success of it. I certainly would have attended if it was not exactly on the première night of Exit, the dance-program I've been working on for the past 2 months. Wasdag yesterday was a bit uneventfull, not surprising after the exhausting newyear's weekend with another oilparty and the spectacular asseating feast at DirtyDicks.

su 2-01-05

fresh events

A clean new page for the new year
uneventfull for now, but who knows . . .

I'm a complete waste of perfectly good DNA, sais sturtle on december 31st, as I spent a completely uneventfull new years eve at the DWH delft-gay-community-center. The night before was spent eating ass at DirtyDicks and made up for the complete sexual un-eventfull-ness of the past months. Met Will there,the guy who was feeding Will from Paris a.k.a Beyondfilth in the London vidshoot! Also made friends with the gorgeous amsskinpig, MMMMM, sooo tasty !

2004

It's all here

royal funerals celeb assasinations
more pains in the ass
my account of last year
and much more
if you got the time
read the previous scribbles back here . . . or . . .


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